I am so ready to leave my job. I only have 2 days of work left and I am wondering how I am going to last that long. I really love my co-workers and the work is fine, but I have a sneaky suspicion that my boss is displeased that I am leaving, and that he's taking it out on me.
First, there was what I like to call the Pajama Debaucle of '09... see previous blogs for more info. The short version is that I wore a super cute outfit to work, he deemed it inappropriate, but instead of sending me home to change, he made jokes about my outfit looking like pajamas and then proceeded to beat these hilarious jokes into the ground for the rest of the day. The next day I wore a button up shirt and tried to button it up to my neck out of spite but stupid Banana Republic is too fashion conscious to allow for that. No buttons went up that high.
Next there was the Spanish class that never was. I take a one hour Conversational Spanish class once a week which I really look forward to every Thursday. A lot of our staff is out this week so I was pulled from the class to cover the lab during the one hour time slot. I was really bummed out but I am leaving in 2 days so I understood the decision. When I mentioned it to Robin, she volunteered to take my spot in the lab so I could attend class. I was really excited until my boss decided to nix that idea. He said he was going to go ask Robin about switching with me, but in reality he told her that I was staying in the lab. Great.
So I sat here in the lab for one hour and helped 3 customers. And played sudoku. It was a roaring good time. Now I know why people in isolation go insane.
Now it's Friday and I have been scheduled to work in the lab all day. That's the third strike. Actually he doesn't make the schedules but it's easier for me to blame him. So RARRR!
There have been so many terrible, terrible customers filtering in and out of this place over the last week but I just can't seem to keep track of them all. Mostly a lot of people who know how to read when it's convenient for them and never any other time. And people who are mad about getting money for free. What's that about? It's wack.
In other news, I am moving in one week! I am really excited about moving and starting law school. I have started packing up my winter clothes and some of my non-perishable foods, but I still have a long way to go.
Dennis steam-cleaned one of the rooms of the apartment last night and it smells like lavender now. Rad. Lavender smells waaaay better than cat pee... which is what it used to smell like, because my cat peed in my roommate's closet (oops, ok I will take credit for that one) and he didn't clean it up for 2 weeks (that one is alllll him). How he managed to live with the stench is beyond me, he must be a filthy creature himself.
I am going to take a break on this blog and start writing on my other super secret blog. I am in the makings of possibly maybe writing a book so I need to get crackin. I can't really divulge any more info about the book but I will keep this blog updated if anything big happens. We'll see. Fingers crossed!
Friday, June 19, 2009
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Beignet
That last article left somewhat of a bad taste in my mouth regarding treatment of animals so I wanted to submit some pictures of my baby BEIGNET being forced to live in my household.
Dennis sleeps better when he is holding one of Benben's feet.
Beignet and I get intimate.
Beignet sleeps on his back with his tongue out :)
Beignet steals my pillow for himself.
Dennis and Benben embrace. Ben is totally into it.
Beignet gets ice cream stuck on his nose and becomes cross-eyed for a brief period.
PETA blows
Ok I have a big rant today... I kind of feel like I'm ripping off Family Guy's "Grind My Gears" segment from Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story, but I have seen and heard a few things lately that really... Boil My Blood! There now it's not copyright infringement. And I can make references to my latest fixation, True Blood, the HBO show about vampires. Ooda lally.
First and foremost - I hate PETA. But who doesn't? Pet owners, that's who. And they really should, or at least they should do a little more research before they start throwing their money at PETA without knowing the organization's true intentions and beliefs.
They have a section on their website just for kids, and I have here a direct quote from the site:
Are there animals being held hostage at your school, commonly known as “classroom pets” or “hatching experiments”? Do your teachers plan yearly field trips to the zoo or the circus? It’s your school, too, and that means that your voice counts, so speak up and let your teachers know that there are alternatives to animal exploitation.
Rabbits, mice, guinea pigs, frogs, parakeets, rats, snakes, fish, turtles, and countless other animals who are used as teaching "tools" or class "pets" are abused and neglected in school classrooms around the country. Students can and do learn about responsibility, animal behavior, and hands-on science without the presence of animals in their classrooms, and there are far more constructive ways to learn about living beings than by holding them captive in hazardous and neglectful school environments.
I agree that certain classroom environments could be hazardous to an animal’s health, but that shouldn’t apply to every classroom in the world. I feel like this is the same mentality that some ignorant Americans donned after 9-11, that Muslims and all Arab-looking people were terrorists.
First and foremost - I hate PETA. But who doesn't? Pet owners, that's who. And they really should, or at least they should do a little more research before they start throwing their money at PETA without knowing the organization's true intentions and beliefs.
They have a section on their website just for kids, and I have here a direct quote from the site:
Are there animals being held hostage at your school, commonly known as “classroom pets” or “hatching experiments”? Do your teachers plan yearly field trips to the zoo or the circus? It’s your school, too, and that means that your voice counts, so speak up and let your teachers know that there are alternatives to animal exploitation.
Rabbits, mice, guinea pigs, frogs, parakeets, rats, snakes, fish, turtles, and countless other animals who are used as teaching "tools" or class "pets" are abused and neglected in school classrooms around the country. Students can and do learn about responsibility, animal behavior, and hands-on science without the presence of animals in their classrooms, and there are far more constructive ways to learn about living beings than by holding them captive in hazardous and neglectful school environments.
I agree that certain classroom environments could be hazardous to an animal’s health, but that shouldn’t apply to every classroom in the world. I feel like this is the same mentality that some ignorant Americans donned after 9-11, that Muslims and all Arab-looking people were terrorists.
Another PETA quote regarding the classroom pet travesty:
If no other classroom adopts the snails, teachers are instructed to "collect them in a bag, euthanize them by placing them in the freezer, and then dispose of them in the trash."
So what I’m getting from this is that euthanizing animals, regardless of method, is BAD? I’m not putting words in their mouth by drawing this conclusion, right? Ok. Now let’s make sure that PETA isn’t being hypocritical in this aspect…
Wait! Could it be? Ingrid Newkirk, the president of PETA, is quoted as saying “…sometimes the only kind option for some animals is to put them to sleep forever."
WOW. So to all of you teachers out there killing snails in the freezer, shame on you - unless you happen to work for PETA – then it’s considered a “kind option.”
Another point of contention is medical research that utilizes animal testing. PETA doesn’t believe that animal testing is beneficial because humans and animals are biologically different. In fact, not only is it not beneficial, but they go so far as to call it irrelevant! Never mind the countless diseases and conditions that have been cured or made treatable thanks to the benefits of animal testing.
People who “benefit” from this irrelevant testing are clearly abusing animals, for example, diabetics who must inject insulin daily. They shouldn’t be given any special treatment for any reason – they are just as cruel and despicable as anyone else who benefits from animal testing.
Oh wait… except for former PETA Vice President, Mary-Beth Sweetland, who just happens to be a diabetic. Interesting. So what are her views on the matter? Clearly she doesn’t think herself above the laws of PETA, except for the fact that she has “no qualms about it.” Yikes. And her infallible reasoning, her explanation of why she is in the right: “I don’t see myself as a hypocrite. I need my life to fight for the rights of animals.”
That is laughable. By that logic, any scientist who does animal testing could say "I'm not a hypocrite - I'm saving the lives of animal rights activists so it's okay." So if you aren't benefitting from a program, it's not acceptable. But once your life depends upon it, it's suddenly alright? Why is that? Could be because people from PETA are morons. See how I took the high road there??
But I digress. The incident that sparked this rant was contained in this crappy headline from... where else, CNN.com. The headline was something to the effect of Obama Kills a Fly. WOW, I thought, BREAKING NEWS!! I promptly forgot it and moved on, until this morning when I saw that PETA has made a big stink about Mr. President killing a fly. Click the link to see the massacre. Put your children to bed first though.
In conclusion, I hate PETA. And as my brother so eloquently puts it:
me: obama slapped a fly and killed it duringa n interview
and peta is freaking out.
dboywonder: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
shit ur pants peta
dying for publicity
i laff
One last quote from PETA president Ingrid Newkirk: "Pet ownership is an absolutely abysmal situation brought aboutby human manipulation."
That's right - all you pet owners sending money to PETA should know that if they had their way they would take your precious doggies and kitties and ferrets and whatever other freaky animals you own and liberate them to stop your oppression and manipulation.
Personally, I think it's really cute when my cat jumps off the bed he's been sleeping on all day and runs to the door to greet me when I get home from work. I absolutely love when he jumps up on his back legs to give me a kiss when I bend down and make kissy noises. And I don't know if I could fall asleep at night without him curled up next to me in the crook of my arm, where he jumps up right around bedtime every night.
But then again, those behaviors were brought about by my human manipulation, so maybe the love I feel for him (and I'd like to think he feels for me!) is all in my head. Hmm. That's a thinker. I'll mull it over while I pack my cat's bags and send him on his way to FREEEEDOOOOMMMMM.
Ingrid Newkirk with her photographer's dog. Excuse me, with her photographer's manipulated slave-dog. That's better.
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Monday, June 15, 2009
RAVES!!! and rants.
BIG NEWS!!! My Pengs WON THE STANLEY CUP! Holy crap. I was screaming like I won the lottery. The game was intense, insane, violent, everything I could wish for in an amazing hockey game. And my boy Malkin won the MVP of the playoffs!
I couldn't have been happier... except for Maxime Talbot. He scored both goals, and Marc Andre Fleury held off the Redwings' goals to ONE. Oh man. If you aren't a hockey fan yet, you will be after you watch this game. AHHHHH!
Okay I'm calming down. News for today - I got chastised today for the outfit I wore to work. Apparently I do not look professional enough. I am wearing a Lilly Pulitzer dress and leggings to try to be more conservative and apparently, the leggings looks like "sweatpants" and make my outfit look like "pajamas." Wow. See I had my outfit all laid out and ready to go for today and I was excited about wearing my new dress. Now I hate this place and want to burn it down using my pajama dress as the wick on my molotov cocktail.
Ok I am just kidding I don't really want to burn the place down, in case anyone from Homeland Security is reading. Can never be too careful... Anyway here is a picture of my really crappy looking outfit.
Can you believe they let me in to work today? They didn't even ask me to surrender my 40 or my prison shank. I must have a trustworthy face.
Tomorrow I will have my revenge. Look for pictures.
Friday, June 12, 2009
FINALLY FRIDAY!!
Ok I know I said I would write another blog before I did more quotes but I LIED!!! MENTIROSA!!! That means liar in Spanish. I am learning so much from my 1 hr a week Conversational Spanish Class.
me: try finding the number to our mva. it cant be done
Sonya: i will
i can't find the number
me: yea i know
its effing ennoying
here is my dilemma ok
are you listening on the edge of your seat/!
im trying to get dennis a license w our new address on it by monday
Sonya: ohh
then i guess he should go in person
he might need the lease
me: we can get that i think
Sonya: ohh right
well i would still just call the mva to make sure you need it
me: THERES NO NUMBER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Meredith is mean when she's hungry...
Meredith: what should I have for lunch?
i forgot mine
me: uhhh
pizza
Meredith: haha
pizza/
i don't want no stinkin pizza
me: damn.
chinese food?
Meredith: nah
nothin near here
wait yes there is
I want a sandwich
k bitch?
Meredith: I need to get thsi for Stan
for his birthday/father's day
it's cookie monster
http://www.lids.com/pid/20104421
me: omg
perfect
haahhaha
Meredith: you see?
isn't it
and for $7 I can get hte American Flag on the side!
I don't feel so good...
me: i feel so shitty right now
all of a sudden
like i feel nauseous
i did mildly all day
but now i am like.. salivating
like pavlovs dogs
me: i am so hot
i think im like
going to pass out
i wonder if i should go running
maybe i will take a nap when i go home
and go running later at dusk or something
Sonya: um i would not go running if you feel nauseous
me: i know i dont want to
but i cant break my streak!
Sonya: just do it tmw
or make dennis go with you in case you pass out in the woods
Sonya: anyway she needs to invite him on a group outing or something where none of the group shows up
and FAST
me: lol
a trap
sounds romantic
Sonya: oh man i have peed three times today
for like 2 min straight
me: lol
like opening a dam
is the visual im getting
Sonya: one time..2 people came and left before i was done
me: lol
like austin powers
Sonya: yes
me: Evacuation Compl-
Evacuation Compl-
Meredith: you really need to start
reading
wwtdd.com
maybe not at work
but at home
and tell dennis
cause it's hilarious
mostly just today's headline
"Kate Gosellin is the devil"
me: hahahaha
Meredith: 3o
more
minutes
I
cannot
live
like
this!
me: CANT LIVE LIKE THIS
see that phone know your true identity
Meredith: i know
or now
my identity has changed
50 years from now
don't you want to be able to say
you had the courage
to get in the car?
me: what the hell
are you high
Meredith: .....lots of
transformers
previews on tv
right now
Shia LaDoofa
all over my TV
Poor megan fox
having to make out with that everyday
it was probably like blah-blah-blah-smooch-smooch-smoohc
me: mere
i dont know how to say this
but i have to go
dont call me anymore
Meredith: duly noted
me: try finding the number to our mva. it cant be done
Sonya: i will
i can't find the number
me: yea i know
its effing ennoying
here is my dilemma ok
are you listening on the edge of your seat/!
im trying to get dennis a license w our new address on it by monday
Sonya: ohh
then i guess he should go in person
he might need the lease
me: we can get that i think
Sonya: ohh right
well i would still just call the mva to make sure you need it
me: THERES NO NUMBER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Meredith is mean when she's hungry...
Meredith: what should I have for lunch?
i forgot mine
me: uhhh
pizza
Meredith: haha
pizza/
i don't want no stinkin pizza
me: damn.
chinese food?
Meredith: nah
nothin near here
wait yes there is
I want a sandwich
k bitch?
Meredith: I need to get thsi for Stan
for his birthday/father's day
it's cookie monster
http://www.lids.com/pid/20104421
me: omg
perfect
haahhaha
Meredith: you see?
isn't it
and for $7 I can get hte American Flag on the side!
I don't feel so good...
me: i feel so shitty right now
all of a sudden
like i feel nauseous
i did mildly all day
but now i am like.. salivating
like pavlovs dogs
me: i am so hot
i think im like
going to pass out
i wonder if i should go running
maybe i will take a nap when i go home
and go running later at dusk or something
Sonya: um i would not go running if you feel nauseous
me: i know i dont want to
but i cant break my streak!
Sonya: just do it tmw
or make dennis go with you in case you pass out in the woods
Sonya: anyway she needs to invite him on a group outing or something where none of the group shows up
and FAST
me: lol
a trap
sounds romantic
Sonya: oh man i have peed three times today
for like 2 min straight
me: lol
like opening a dam
is the visual im getting
Sonya: one time..2 people came and left before i was done
me: lol
like austin powers
Sonya: yes
me: Evacuation Compl-
Evacuation Compl-
Meredith: you really need to start
reading
wwtdd.com
maybe not at work
but at home
and tell dennis
cause it's hilarious
mostly just today's headline
"Kate Gosellin is the devil"
me: hahahaha
Meredith: 3o
more
minutes
I
cannot
live
like
this!
me: CANT LIVE LIKE THIS
see that phone know your true identity
Meredith: i know
or now
my identity has changed
50 years from now
don't you want to be able to say
you had the courage
to get in the car?
me: what the hell
are you high
Meredith: .....lots of
transformers
previews on tv
right now
Shia LaDoofa
all over my TV
Poor megan fox
having to make out with that everyday
it was probably like blah-blah-blah-smooch-smooch-smoohc
me: mere
i dont know how to say this
but i have to go
dont call me anymore
Meredith: duly noted
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Meredith: why is fergie so dang uggo
I know lately my blog has consisted of a lot of conversations between me and friends that I find really amusing, so I hope someone else is finding them amusing too. I am going to post a couple more today but I promise I am going to write an actual blog later today. After lunch.. I made a smoothie so I will have the energy to describe my days and make funny observations.
me: robin
i didnt get a good look
notsure if yo have the angle
but i think the guy in the back corner is doing more lady searching than job searching
Robin: you're right - i'll play police woman
me: lord.
why do people come here to do thisis there a sign outside that says meet other singles!
Sonya: and tell them you're doing it from the job market!
me: seriously
Robin: what is wrong with people??!! does this place look like a dating service? When i told him he had to get off that site he looked at me as though i was asking him to cut off his arm. Now he is over there doing his banking. Again, what is wrong with people??!!
he must be in here bc he has no where else to go
me: sad.
are you playing patrolling guard
Robin: was it that obvious?
me: yes
the only way you could have looked more natural is if you had a nightstick and a flashlight
and your id badge of course
Robin: i wanted to make sure that i was giving fair cop treatment to everyone
me: dude
dude
do you hear me freaking out
Sonya: ..no
me: oh well. my vacuum cleaner is ready at walmart!!!!!!!!!
Sonya: lol
can i borrow that when we move!
ours i'm pretty sure spits stuff back out
me: yea im going to use it tonight
ill let you know how it works
Sonya: vacuum party
me: WOOOooot
maybe we could create a new drink
called
the vacuum.
youre in charge of that
Sonya: idk about that
me: what
it could be like when you tape 2 two liters together
and swirl like a tornado
we could watch it swirl around
then poke a hole in it
and pour it out
eh??
i feel like im that only one doing the work in this thing.
Sonya: that seems like a lot of work..
me: dangit sonya.
this vacuum is going to save you a lot of work.
the least you could do is meet it in the middle
oh my god.
i just realized i said woot.
8 minutes pass
me: if you dont get more involved in this i might have to withhold the vacuum
me: did you see the good reads thing i sent you
Meredith: yeaaa
dammit
I just quit good reads
I was saying I really liked this book over the weekend
and it was 600 pages
(in my head, that's long!)
the book was good
if you want it
Middlesex
have you read anythign good lately?
(maybe I should just join good reads and find out haha)
me: yesss
Meredith: Middlesex was about a hermaphrodite
me: nice.
my fav
Meredith: hahah
yea
me too!
jk
is jamie lee curtis
really a hermaphrodite?
me: i think so
Meredith: but how do you know
i mean
I need some sources
hahahah
i'm trying find this out on line
me: haha
people it up
Meredith: i'm trying to "wiki" it
but nothing
I put in hermaphrodite hoping it would give me a list of famous people
thisis all I could find.....
In South Park Season 2 Episode 2, Dr. Mephisto reveals that Mrs. Cartman is a hermaphrodite.[4]
me: lol
i would be careful typing that in at work lol
Meredith: true....
me: have you been reading my blog lately
Meredith: dammit
no
hold on
I will do it now
dammit
hahahaha
me: my dad asked me for the link at dinner on sunday
Meredith: eeeeeeeeeeee
did you give it to him?
do not let TBT
have that
give him a link to like
Time.com
and be like, yup
that's all me
I'm just that smart
timemagazine.com I mean
me: hahahahhahaha
i gave it to him
he knows im planning a book about the bomb
he wont show it to her
Meredith: Good
da bomb
me: i wish it didnt come off sounding like a compliment
Meredith: it's not
it's circa-1990
only Donald Fasion says it now
Meredith: blegh
I'm so poor right now
I hate this
This guy owes me $30
and I'm like, hiiiii
hiii
but I'm not saying anything
cause I don't want to seem
so...
needy? desperate?
but am trying to go to happy hour today
and that $30
sure would help
Discussing twin issues...
Meredith: at least they're not conjoined twins
always gotta look on the sunny side of things meghan
Sonya: i might go to subway
me: oh right
that would be a good idea.
hey! forget the sub, get the p'zone! its a whole pound of food! its like awhole pizza for one person!!!
Sonya: no!
me: lol
Sonya: that is bad
me: have you seen all those ridiculous commercials
its like.. every other commercial is pioneering healthy food
and pizza hut is like forget that, stuff your face!!
Sonya: hahah
me: dennis said he tried one and it was gross anyway
Sonya: really
me: yes
Sonya: hm
i do like stromboli..
me: go to subway
eat fresh.
me: dude
have you ever seen the commercials for like.. joes crab shack
marykristen: ahahah yeah
so random
me: im talking to mer about one
marykristen: hahahaha
i havent seen all the commercials
but iw il be on the look out
me: yea they are like seductively cracking these lobsters and shit into the camera
and i was like damn taht girl is dolled up
marykristen: ive only seen the ones where they have this plates with a cover ont hem
and theguy goes to the girl
come on take your top off
and shes like whaaat
but he means take the cover off your plate
stupid
me: yea
she is like
WHAT
ok!
TAKE IT OFF
WOOOO
whore
marykristen: i know
total dubarry
Why does everyone think my dad is a square?
me: im sending my dad the link to my blog
Sonya: haha
do you have to sensor
me: no
he's cool.
Regarding my work ethic:
Kendall: I feel as tho I need to make you a tshirt stating just that "NO ASSHOLE! I> CAN'T!" or perhaps I should reverse the obama logo and make it say "NO WE> CAN'T"
Me: YES> I CAN> WEAR THAT T SHIRT!!! i need to just make a whole drawer full ofsignsand hold up the appropriate ones. "nothing in life is free!" "i want to behere just as much as you do.... NOT AT ALL!!" "i get to have my drink inhere bc im not a fumbling bumbling idiot"... anywho. son and i are planningon going out for margaritas tonight, you comin???
Kendall: Probably...gotta get a nap in there but should be able to handle that between 5 and 8
Me: if you cant find time to sleep bn 5 and 8 you dont deserve the salt on therim of the margarita glass.
me: robin
i didnt get a good look
notsure if yo have the angle
but i think the guy in the back corner is doing more lady searching than job searching
Robin: you're right - i'll play police woman
me: lord.
why do people come here to do thisis there a sign outside that says meet other singles!
Sonya: and tell them you're doing it from the job market!
me: seriously
Robin: what is wrong with people??!! does this place look like a dating service? When i told him he had to get off that site he looked at me as though i was asking him to cut off his arm. Now he is over there doing his banking. Again, what is wrong with people??!!
he must be in here bc he has no where else to go
me: sad.
are you playing patrolling guard
Robin: was it that obvious?
me: yes
the only way you could have looked more natural is if you had a nightstick and a flashlight
and your id badge of course
Robin: i wanted to make sure that i was giving fair cop treatment to everyone
me: dude
dude
do you hear me freaking out
Sonya: ..no
me: oh well. my vacuum cleaner is ready at walmart!!!!!!!!!
Sonya: lol
can i borrow that when we move!
ours i'm pretty sure spits stuff back out
me: yea im going to use it tonight
ill let you know how it works
Sonya: vacuum party
me: WOOOooot
maybe we could create a new drink
called
the vacuum.
youre in charge of that
Sonya: idk about that
me: what
it could be like when you tape 2 two liters together
and swirl like a tornado
we could watch it swirl around
then poke a hole in it
and pour it out
eh??
i feel like im that only one doing the work in this thing.
Sonya: that seems like a lot of work..
me: dangit sonya.
this vacuum is going to save you a lot of work.
the least you could do is meet it in the middle
oh my god.
i just realized i said woot.
8 minutes pass
me: if you dont get more involved in this i might have to withhold the vacuum
me: did you see the good reads thing i sent you
Meredith: yeaaa
dammit
I just quit good reads
I was saying I really liked this book over the weekend
and it was 600 pages
(in my head, that's long!)
the book was good
if you want it
Middlesex
have you read anythign good lately?
(maybe I should just join good reads and find out haha)
me: yesss
Meredith: Middlesex was about a hermaphrodite
me: nice.
my fav
Meredith: hahah
yea
me too!
jk
is jamie lee curtis
really a hermaphrodite?
me: i think so
Meredith: but how do you know
i mean
I need some sources
hahahah
i'm trying find this out on line
me: haha
people it up
Meredith: i'm trying to "wiki" it
but nothing
I put in hermaphrodite hoping it would give me a list of famous people
thisis all I could find.....
In South Park Season 2 Episode 2, Dr. Mephisto reveals that Mrs. Cartman is a hermaphrodite.[4]
me: lol
i would be careful typing that in at work lol
Meredith: true....
me: have you been reading my blog lately
Meredith: dammit
no
hold on
I will do it now
dammit
hahahaha
me: my dad asked me for the link at dinner on sunday
Meredith: eeeeeeeeeeee
did you give it to him?
do not let TBT
have that
give him a link to like
Time.com
and be like, yup
that's all me
I'm just that smart
timemagazine.com I mean
me: hahahahhahaha
i gave it to him
he knows im planning a book about the bomb
he wont show it to her
Meredith: Good
da bomb
me: i wish it didnt come off sounding like a compliment
Meredith: it's not
it's circa-1990
only Donald Fasion says it now
Meredith: blegh
I'm so poor right now
I hate this
This guy owes me $30
and I'm like, hiiiii
hiii
but I'm not saying anything
cause I don't want to seem
so...
needy? desperate?
but am trying to go to happy hour today
and that $30
sure would help
Discussing twin issues...
Meredith: at least they're not conjoined twins
always gotta look on the sunny side of things meghan
Sonya: i might go to subway
me: oh right
that would be a good idea.
hey! forget the sub, get the p'zone! its a whole pound of food! its like awhole pizza for one person!!!
Sonya: no!
me: lol
Sonya: that is bad
me: have you seen all those ridiculous commercials
its like.. every other commercial is pioneering healthy food
and pizza hut is like forget that, stuff your face!!
Sonya: hahah
me: dennis said he tried one and it was gross anyway
Sonya: really
me: yes
Sonya: hm
i do like stromboli..
me: go to subway
eat fresh.
me: dude
have you ever seen the commercials for like.. joes crab shack
marykristen: ahahah yeah
so random
me: im talking to mer about one
marykristen: hahahaha
i havent seen all the commercials
but iw il be on the look out
me: yea they are like seductively cracking these lobsters and shit into the camera
and i was like damn taht girl is dolled up
marykristen: ive only seen the ones where they have this plates with a cover ont hem
and theguy goes to the girl
come on take your top off
and shes like whaaat
but he means take the cover off your plate
stupid
me: yea
she is like
WHAT
ok!
TAKE IT OFF
WOOOO
whore
marykristen: i know
total dubarry
Why does everyone think my dad is a square?
me: im sending my dad the link to my blog
Sonya: haha
do you have to sensor
me: no
he's cool.
Regarding my work ethic:
Kendall: I feel as tho I need to make you a tshirt stating just that "NO ASSHOLE! I> CAN'T!" or perhaps I should reverse the obama logo and make it say "NO WE> CAN'T"
Me: YES> I CAN> WEAR THAT T SHIRT!!! i need to just make a whole drawer full ofsignsand hold up the appropriate ones. "nothing in life is free!" "i want to behere just as much as you do.... NOT AT ALL!!" "i get to have my drink inhere bc im not a fumbling bumbling idiot"... anywho. son and i are planningon going out for margaritas tonight, you comin???
Kendall: Probably...gotta get a nap in there but should be able to handle that between 5 and 8
Me: if you cant find time to sleep bn 5 and 8 you dont deserve the salt on therim of the margarita glass.
Monday, June 8, 2009
I hate Geico
Meredith: My workload is really slow today
I'm knockin on wood
there is always somethign to do
but today...no one is hounding me
I feel like I need to go do
something
My pile to file
is sitting behind me
and i keep looking over my shoulder at it
like itis giving me the stare down
Meredith: I have go go
these piles are staring me down
I always feel likkkkkkkke
someone is watttttttching me
me: dude
i made a smoothie
are you proud of me
Meredith: yes!
is it good?
where is it now?
me: lol in my belly
i made it yesterday w banana strawberry honey plain yogurt and ice
and i drank some of it
then i put the rest in a nalgene bottle and froze it
Meredith: you aresmart
you have a blender?
me: no i put it in a big ziploc bag and stomped on it w some stilettos
Meredith: shut up
really?
shut up
...
really?
me: lol no
i have a blender
Meredith: I do too
but it sucks
so I wanted to know if that worked
the stiletto thing
cause I would try it
me: hahahhahha
of course you did
but you know you would make neel put on the stilettos
and be like
Meredith: slap slap slap!
lol
me: I WANT 3 CUBES CRUSHED
2 WHOLE
1 HALVED
Meredith: use the potato masher please!
I'm knockin on wood
there is always somethign to do
but today...no one is hounding me
I feel like I need to go do
something
My pile to file
is sitting behind me
and i keep looking over my shoulder at it
like itis giving me the stare down
Meredith: I have go go
these piles are staring me down
I always feel likkkkkkkke
someone is watttttttching me
me: dude
i made a smoothie
are you proud of me
Meredith: yes!
is it good?
where is it now?
me: lol in my belly
i made it yesterday w banana strawberry honey plain yogurt and ice
and i drank some of it
then i put the rest in a nalgene bottle and froze it
Meredith: you aresmart
you have a blender?
me: no i put it in a big ziploc bag and stomped on it w some stilettos
Meredith: shut up
really?
shut up
...
really?
me: lol no
i have a blender
Meredith: I do too
but it sucks
so I wanted to know if that worked
the stiletto thing
cause I would try it
me: hahahhahha
of course you did
but you know you would make neel put on the stilettos
and be like
Meredith: slap slap slap!
lol
me: I WANT 3 CUBES CRUSHED
2 WHOLE
1 HALVED
Meredith: use the potato masher please!
Put a Cork In It!
Right before I was to start my afternoon shift in the lab today, I heard my co-worker mention that the lab had been "swamped" that morning. I think that may have influenced my attitude upon entering the lab at 12:00pm. I have been here for one hour and ten minutes and I'm already ready to bring back classroom beatings with a ruler.
I am quite literally trying to quietly meditate right now, breathing in and out slowly, trying to imagine all of these people bent over my knee so I can "slap, slap, slap!" (courtesy of Meredith). I am trying to keep my patience for the ones that are unwillfully ignorant and who truly need my help, and for some reason also trying to keep my patience for the lazy asses around here as well. I think I am being a lot more curt today than usual though. Here's a look into how my day is going...
me: kendall is emailing me asking me how work is doing today
and its really busy and im stressing out
i said:
We might as well have a sign outside that says "free stripper with every paper printed" there are so many effing people here today and their ages are all higher than their IQs. MY GOD.
That summarizes my feelings for the entire day, and here is a continuation just for fun...
Meredith: hahahhahahah\
THere is an article in the WashPost today
titled
"Are you too dumb to have kids"
lol
and I laughed cause I was like HELL YEA
but then I read it
and it's about people with low IQ
having their kids taken away
me: wow
good idea. too bad they couldnt be more proactive
Meredith: who?
oh
you mean
like
stop it
before the kid comes out?
me: YES
put a cork in it.
figuratively
Meredith: all the single ladies
all the single ladies
put a cork in it!
oh oh oh oh
hahah
what is the lyrics to that song?
me: lolololol
i dont remember any corks.
put your hands up
oh oh o h
Meredith: ohhh
I am quite literally trying to quietly meditate right now, breathing in and out slowly, trying to imagine all of these people bent over my knee so I can "slap, slap, slap!" (courtesy of Meredith). I am trying to keep my patience for the ones that are unwillfully ignorant and who truly need my help, and for some reason also trying to keep my patience for the lazy asses around here as well. I think I am being a lot more curt today than usual though. Here's a look into how my day is going...
me: kendall is emailing me asking me how work is doing today
and its really busy and im stressing out
i said:
We might as well have a sign outside that says "free stripper with every paper printed" there are so many effing people here today and their ages are all higher than their IQs. MY GOD.
That summarizes my feelings for the entire day, and here is a continuation just for fun...
Meredith: hahahhahahah\
THere is an article in the WashPost today
titled
"Are you too dumb to have kids"
lol
and I laughed cause I was like HELL YEA
but then I read it
and it's about people with low IQ
having their kids taken away
me: wow
good idea. too bad they couldnt be more proactive
Meredith: who?
oh
you mean
like
stop it
before the kid comes out?
me: YES
put a cork in it.
figuratively
Meredith: all the single ladies
all the single ladies
put a cork in it!
oh oh oh oh
hahah
what is the lyrics to that song?
me: lolololol
i dont remember any corks.
put your hands up
oh oh o h
Meredith: ohhh
Friday, June 5, 2009
When O When will this workday end??
The Penguins won last night bringing the Stanley Cup Finals to 2-2!! Game 5 is tomorrow night in Detroit so the Redwings will have that advantage, but the Penguins are coming off of a hot streak so they have an advantage as well.
Malkin played pretty well last night, he dropped the ball on a couple of breakaways but overall he and the rest of the team had a great game with a final score of 4-2. It was definitely a nail biter! And of course Jay came in this morning with his usual "How bout them Pengys!" I think he is the only one who is using my newly patented nickname "Pengys." It will catch on soon. :)
This work week seems like it has taken MONTHS to go by. I'm sitting here at 2pm wondering when 2 hours is going to pass. UGHHHH!!! Also - there are only like 2 people in the lab. Send me home!!!
I really wanted to see Land of the Lost tonight, but Dennis has a friend coming in from out of town and he might not be interested, or something, so we can't go? This is all Dennis talking, I'm just trying to paraphrase. Also - his friend is really bad with directions so he asked Dennis to text him directions for the 433 mile trip...with approximate mileage for each exit. Oh my lord! He was supposed to arrive at 7 am. I haven't heard from anyone yet so I'll have to wait to find out what time he actually arrived at his destination.
Malkin played pretty well last night, he dropped the ball on a couple of breakaways but overall he and the rest of the team had a great game with a final score of 4-2. It was definitely a nail biter! And of course Jay came in this morning with his usual "How bout them Pengys!" I think he is the only one who is using my newly patented nickname "Pengys." It will catch on soon. :)
This work week seems like it has taken MONTHS to go by. I'm sitting here at 2pm wondering when 2 hours is going to pass. UGHHHH!!! Also - there are only like 2 people in the lab. Send me home!!!
I really wanted to see Land of the Lost tonight, but Dennis has a friend coming in from out of town and he might not be interested, or something, so we can't go? This is all Dennis talking, I'm just trying to paraphrase. Also - his friend is really bad with directions so he asked Dennis to text him directions for the 433 mile trip...with approximate mileage for each exit. Oh my lord! He was supposed to arrive at 7 am. I haven't heard from anyone yet so I'll have to wait to find out what time he actually arrived at his destination.
Conversations with People I Like
me: yea. i know
i dont know what my problem is
i think im going to abstain from drinking for awhile
Sonya: lol or just watch the intake
me: the last couple times i have had more than a few seems like bad things happen
i think i am going to stop for a month and see what happens
just as a social experiment
haha
Sonya: haven't you tried this before?
me: yea in college
for 3 weeks
Sonya: yeahh i remember
me: i fucked that up too
but i went to see mer within that time frame
so.. i figured. different zip code
Sonya: oh yeah
totally ok
me: i know
and somehow my competitors in the no drinking pact were none the wiser
you know why
guilty conscience
they both broke it several times
it ended up being pointless
but im doing it!
startiiiiingggg now
8:32 am
Sonya: it seems like a bad idea
it will end worse
haha
me: wait
you think my not drinking thing is a bad idea?
Sonya: bc when it ends (or when you break it) it's already cursed to be disastrous
me: thanks for your faith in me
Sonya: soo chamaine just said some lady was in the lobby and said she had the swine flu
two people in the lab immediately got up and covered their faces with their shirts and pumped out a ton of hand sanitizer on their hands and left
Robin: this woman is too busy trying to listen to what you and aljanice are saying to pay attention to me
me: the one who approacheth now
?
Robin: she said she wanted to talk to carol torre. when i told her that carol ha d retired, she said does that mean she not here today
me: i wish there was some way i could objectify jobs so that i could fill up my file cabinet drawer with trinkets symbolizing jobs
Robin: good luck with that!
me: then when people walk in and say "i need a job" i can reach in the drawer and say "i happen to have some right here"
and then they will be like, wtf?
and ill be like you wanted the job w no work involved right
Robin: You could always use those free gifts in the cracker jack box or better yet happy meal toys
me: lol
how am i going to get happy meal toys
Robin: you do know that you can buy a happy meal and not be a little kid, right?
marykristen: whoever gets married first needs to get married here:
http://www.perrycabin.com/web/omic/inn_at_perry_cabin.jsp
its probably meghan.. so ill start looking into it.
me: it says thats the place from wedding crashers!
marykristen: it is!!
thats why you are getting married there
and its in st michaels
your hood
me: of course!
lol my hood
me: dude
my coworker said she heard of that place and that it is mucho dinero!!
marykristen: okay well you are getting married in st michaels but we could compromise on a venue
me: i feel like my eyes are oozing
Sonya: do you have pink eye
me: no
i dont think so
but thats what i thought of this morning
it might also be that i keep touching my eye tho
me: yesterday he called me little dude
Robin: He does realize that you are a female?
me: blurgh
not sure
ambiguous i guess
Robin: shouldn't that be dudette?
me: no
i heard that was the hair on an elephants butt.
and i do not want to be associated with that
Robin: No I can see that wouldn't be a good thing
me: i think i have the worst coffee breath in the world
and its not even hot coffee
Sonya: weird
are you trying not to breath on people
me: lol
idk maybe they dont deserve my mercy
me: man
i cant wait to get home and go running again.
Sonya: really
it's so hot
you should run inside
lol
me: no not at all. but maybe i can convince myself that its fun
i was about to say i am so not looking forward to it
and then i ws like hmm...
so.. ill let you know if it works.
i only wash my hair every other day but i feel like this run is going to change that
me: im looking at vacuum cleaners
and i just cant decide what i want
besides bagless
Sonya: the dyson ball
except it's like $500
me: I KNOW
ugh
im looking at it now
like a poor child looking in the window of a puppy shop
Sonya: is it lightweight
me: 11.6 lbs
F YEA
THATS WHAT MY CAT WEIGHS
EXACTLY
Sonya: WHAT
your cat is fat
me: its all muscle
and baby fat.
me: dude
im getting my picture taken today
Sonya: g*** said to look nice
me: yikes
yea i know. then he didnt tell brian to bring in his camera
so i got all nice
and g*** came in and was talking to me about it like it was new news
and i was like yea i know.
so brian is going home at lunch to get the camera
Sonya: omg
hahaha
me: i know
Sonya: this is life or death
now or never
me: i know
i was like you better take it today
you said to look nice so i took pains to
tmw im coming to work in a burlap sack
and then later greg was like ok the picture will be taken after lunch. try to look nice. you have to wear clothes
i was like.. uh
what
he was trying to say that in response to my burlap sack comment
but it was 20 minutes late
and didnt go over well
Meredith: the thing on my car
the check engine lightis broken
can you believe that?
nothing wrong with it
just BROKEN
just goes off
so I always think there is osmethign wrong with the car
it's like the computer sensor
me: hahah cant you get THAT fixed
Meredith: tha'ts what is $700
!
such bullshit
me: daaaang
Meredith: it's the oxgyen censor?b
me: and what the hell is an oxygen censor
Meredith: I dunno
i guess it tells you
...something
about O in your car?
god
waht's with the hard questions?
i have a caffiene headache!
and my finances are in dissary
dissaray
disray
!
ophj980reo
me: holy crap, i am loving this pandora thing
i cant believe i didnt have it until june 5 2009.
Sonya: OMG SPICE GIRLS JUST CAME ON MY DISNEY STATION
HAHAHHAHA
Meredith: did you get my package yet?
I put it in the mail at 5 pm yesterday
me: no mere
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Triste Penguino!
The Penguins are 0-2 in the Stanley Cup finals. That makes me a sad Penguin.
Tonight is game 3. I'm hoping desperately that the Pengys will get their act together and put the Redwings away. I definitely respect their team - they have talented players and they have shaken the Penguins' offense. I think the Penguins have matured since last year's face-off and that even if they don't win, the scores for each game should be closer. 8:00 tonight on VS! Root for the Pengys!
Friday, May 29, 2009
Snippets with Son Bon 2
me: omg
i drank a beer at home
and i was so paranoid
in there w him
Sonya: omg
why
me: i was telling him about the job order that you did and how i thought it was the same one i was supposed to do
and i said sonya put up this job ad this morning
and he was like "you mean job order"
and i think i like
froze like a deer in headlights
and was like uhh
yes
Sonya: like it matters! he knew what you meant
me: i know
i was like... BUSTED
for a second
but yea. idk i was just eating chips and salsa and i felt the urge
its friday
A little girl in the lab takes over Son's keyboard.
Sonya: nice
o9igg
l;.bn
hftgtwtteyryeytruyr767
me: when did you and this little munchkin become such good pals
Sonya: o-yutr6
gtu999ccccfdfhjhgur73eksyfekeirk9999
i don' tknow
she's been doing it with eveyrone in here
the lady behind her was sharing her earbuds with her
me: this girl got old fast
Sonya: yeah
really
me: shes just got her hand caught in the door
Sonya: omg
she is tough
she just wiped out
me: im going to hulk out
Sonya: lol
do it
me: no i like this shirt
Sonya: ohh ok
me: i am seeing red
in a bad way
isnt that weird
Sonya: what does that mean
me: that you can see red and it means youre mad
but if you see the world thru rose colored glasses youre an optimist
me: you know what is great
that im up here typing away
and then people ask for help
and they apologize
like sorry for interrupting
like im doing work
Sonya: you're working so hard
me: but really i just type at the speed of light
so it sounds like work.
Sonya: that's why they call you speed racer
keep up the good work
me: thanks.
you should talk
how many online quizzes have you taken today
lol
Sonya: probably somewhere in the ballpark of 6
I sent out an email to some people of a personality quiz that Sonya sent me that basically...drops the F bomb 23 times in each question and its answer choices, and then realized you can't take the quiz thru the email! Oops.
me: i hope everyone i sent that one to doesnt try to take it and get disappointed
Sonya: well they will just have to go on fb and do it
me: i didnt tell them it was from fb
Sonya: oh well
me: yea
oh well
theyll get over it
Sonya: or they'll burn you with their fucking taser
me: lolol
i want one
for bmore
Sonya: you can buy one from richard
me: who
Sonya: richard..the old mac senior guy
me: i dont know him.
Sonya: when he retired he said he was starting a taser business
me: i need a taser i can trust
whaaat
Sonya: and a sweatshirt business
me: are they at all related
taser resistant sweatshirt
Sonya: he made a christmas sweatshirt
with like a christmas tree and like eastern shore christmas on it
i was like..is this a joke
it wasn't
it was heinous
me: that woman was like it wont let me put in my bday
Sonya: caught in the act
me: and i asked did you put your birth year in 4 number format
and she said yes
and i went over there
and the year was 76
Sonya: didn't you know 2 numbers is the new 4
me: shit
ive been an asshole to so many people in this lab
why didnt anyone tell me
Sonya: if that guy turns around and catches you chomping on that sugar daddy..that would be embarassing
me: i know
see what i mean
i really am chomping too
good word
Sonya: i saw it
me: its like on my face
i cant get it off
i had to add paper to the copy machine while you were gone
someone came up and said the copier was out of paper
and i put some in
but my hands were all sticky
and when he came up i was chompin
me: wait do you really think he needs more help
or are you just being sarcassy
you like that, i mixed up sarcastic and sassy
me: ps. if you had to choose
and try to remain unbiased even tho i already referred to my watch as purple
but would you say this watch is pink or purple
me: i am goign to get some dove bar soap
after work
wouldnt that be cheaper tha bodywash
Sonya: yeah bar soap is like $2.50 or something for 2 bars
me: damn.
i been ripped off
Sonya: and it lasts a while
i think you overuse liquid bodywash
me: yea i think you are right
i go through it fast
Sonya: except..my dad told me he uses like 2 bars of soap a week
me: WHAT
that is insane
is he ocd
by chance
Sonya: yeah i'm like..i use one bar of soap in a month..
i guess he's tall..
me: is he like ethan hawke in gattaca
Sonya: sure so then i asked how he does that and he said it's normal..and he called his friend and asked him and he said he uses 2 bars a week too!
me: did you get what i meant by that ethan hawke reference
Sonya: i ignored it
me: i noticed..
i drank a beer at home
and i was so paranoid
in there w him
Sonya: omg
why
me: i was telling him about the job order that you did and how i thought it was the same one i was supposed to do
and i said sonya put up this job ad this morning
and he was like "you mean job order"
and i think i like
froze like a deer in headlights
and was like uhh
yes
Sonya: like it matters! he knew what you meant
me: i know
i was like... BUSTED
for a second
but yea. idk i was just eating chips and salsa and i felt the urge
its friday
A little girl in the lab takes over Son's keyboard.
Sonya: nice
o9igg
l;.bn
hftgtwtteyryeytruyr767
me: when did you and this little munchkin become such good pals
Sonya: o-yutr6
gtu999ccccfdfhjhgur73eksyfekeirk9999
i don' tknow
she's been doing it with eveyrone in here
the lady behind her was sharing her earbuds with her
me: this girl got old fast
Sonya: yeah
really
me: shes just got her hand caught in the door
Sonya: omg
she is tough
she just wiped out
me: im going to hulk out
Sonya: lol
do it
me: no i like this shirt
Sonya: ohh ok
me: i am seeing red
in a bad way
isnt that weird
Sonya: what does that mean
me: that you can see red and it means youre mad
but if you see the world thru rose colored glasses youre an optimist
me: you know what is great
that im up here typing away
and then people ask for help
and they apologize
like sorry for interrupting
like im doing work
Sonya: you're working so hard
me: but really i just type at the speed of light
so it sounds like work.
Sonya: that's why they call you speed racer
keep up the good work
me: thanks.
you should talk
how many online quizzes have you taken today
lol
Sonya: probably somewhere in the ballpark of 6
I sent out an email to some people of a personality quiz that Sonya sent me that basically...drops the F bomb 23 times in each question and its answer choices, and then realized you can't take the quiz thru the email! Oops.
me: i hope everyone i sent that one to doesnt try to take it and get disappointed
Sonya: well they will just have to go on fb and do it
me: i didnt tell them it was from fb
Sonya: oh well
me: yea
oh well
theyll get over it
Sonya: or they'll burn you with their fucking taser
me: lolol
i want one
for bmore
Sonya: you can buy one from richard
me: who
Sonya: richard..the old mac senior guy
me: i dont know him.
Sonya: when he retired he said he was starting a taser business
me: i need a taser i can trust
whaaat
Sonya: and a sweatshirt business
me: are they at all related
taser resistant sweatshirt
Sonya: he made a christmas sweatshirt
with like a christmas tree and like eastern shore christmas on it
i was like..is this a joke
it wasn't
it was heinous
me: that woman was like it wont let me put in my bday
Sonya: caught in the act
me: and i asked did you put your birth year in 4 number format
and she said yes
and i went over there
and the year was 76
Sonya: didn't you know 2 numbers is the new 4
me: shit
ive been an asshole to so many people in this lab
why didnt anyone tell me
Sonya: if that guy turns around and catches you chomping on that sugar daddy..that would be embarassing
me: i know
see what i mean
i really am chomping too
good word
Sonya: i saw it
me: its like on my face
i cant get it off
i had to add paper to the copy machine while you were gone
someone came up and said the copier was out of paper
and i put some in
but my hands were all sticky
and when he came up i was chompin
me: wait do you really think he needs more help
or are you just being sarcassy
you like that, i mixed up sarcastic and sassy
me: ps. if you had to choose
and try to remain unbiased even tho i already referred to my watch as purple
but would you say this watch is pink or purple
me: i am goign to get some dove bar soap
after work
wouldnt that be cheaper tha bodywash
Sonya: yeah bar soap is like $2.50 or something for 2 bars
me: damn.
i been ripped off
Sonya: and it lasts a while
i think you overuse liquid bodywash
me: yea i think you are right
i go through it fast
Sonya: except..my dad told me he uses like 2 bars of soap a week
me: WHAT
that is insane
is he ocd
by chance
Sonya: yeah i'm like..i use one bar of soap in a month..
i guess he's tall..
me: is he like ethan hawke in gattaca
Sonya: sure so then i asked how he does that and he said it's normal..and he called his friend and asked him and he said he uses 2 bars a week too!
me: did you get what i meant by that ethan hawke reference
Sonya: i ignored it
me: i noticed..
Another guy accuses me of trying to steal his identity when I ask for his SSN. But then he says I can have it because I probably have better credit.
me: 2 in a row
2 days in a row
Sonya: o.m.g
do it
take his identity
me: at least he was realistic
about his identity
the other guy was all paranoid
We discuss a customer that creeped us out and how he hasn't been by in awhile.
Sonya: does he still come here???
whoo is he
me: no thats what bern was talkin about
its like
voldemort
Sonya: ohh ok
me: he who must not be named
Sonya: lol
me: we cant say his name. or we might jinx it
Sonya: and d** w*****
me: and he'll come back
lol
DW
DW
dont speak it
Sonya: he stilll comes in!
me: its like... when you say beetlejuice 3 times
and he appears
me: but thats what im saying. this guy has me all freaked out
bc he was acting shady
Sonya: he was being a creep
me: he did say i was dapper though
A third person accuses me of trying to steal his identity.
me: 3rd one
holy shit
do i have a guilty face or something
That is all for today!!! Happy Friday!
Snippets w Son, plus an EPIPHANY
Sonya: so i just took the "what alchoholic beverage suits you best" quiz, and i got...beer
wtf
hahah
me: lol
looks like youre a man'
s man
lololol
the first thing that came out was wrong
but then the follow up wasn't much better
me: where are you taking this quiz
Sonya: on fb
i'm obviously working hard
me: thats ok i wrote a novel on the blog
Sonya: you should prob take the quiz
lol
i didn't publish it though
i don't want people to know i do these things
ps. can you check your wall-feed to make sure these quizzes aren't getting published
Sonya: haha these quizzes are great
Your Result: British. You are sophisticated, well-mannered, polite and proper. You prefer negotiation over violence. You have a witty, sometimes wacky, sense of humor. As you resemble the people of Britain, you just might enjoy an evening of Monty python movies and fish and chips.
YES
this is my euro-persona
me: you resemble people of britain?
how so
bad teeth
ok i can see that
Sonya: hahah i had braces twice betch
me: man
i gotta go to the bathroom so much today
all this damn water
50 ounces already
im drinking it like the earth is running out
Sonya: areyou trying to drink 3 of those things
me: im trying to drink as many as it takes
5 minutes
Sonya: as it takes to do whatt??
me: i dont have an answer for that
me: kendall just texted me back and asked what ext im on up here
and i said:
im 103 i think but im in the bathroom right now bc im drinking like 8 gallons of water a day w this new water bottle and im a peeing machine. also i was in the middle of constructing an email to you when i caught this pee fever"
Sonya: hahah all from the toilet
typical
me: yea
i know
FML!!!!
Sonya: poor you
you pee too much
me: i think that since im not a drunken college student anymore
i could do
"gchats from this morning"
and that my apocolyptic rage from working w the public could translate to drunkenness
Sonya: lol
sounds good
wtf
hahah
me: lol
looks like youre a man'
s man
lololol
the first thing that came out was wrong
but then the follow up wasn't much better
me: where are you taking this quiz
Sonya: on fb
i'm obviously working hard
me: thats ok i wrote a novel on the blog
Sonya: you should prob take the quiz
lol
i didn't publish it though
i don't want people to know i do these things
ps. can you check your wall-feed to make sure these quizzes aren't getting published
Sonya: haha these quizzes are great
Your Result: British. You are sophisticated, well-mannered, polite and proper. You prefer negotiation over violence. You have a witty, sometimes wacky, sense of humor. As you resemble the people of Britain, you just might enjoy an evening of Monty python movies and fish and chips.
YES
this is my euro-persona
me: you resemble people of britain?
how so
bad teeth
ok i can see that
Sonya: hahah i had braces twice betch
me: man
i gotta go to the bathroom so much today
all this damn water
50 ounces already
im drinking it like the earth is running out
Sonya: areyou trying to drink 3 of those things
me: im trying to drink as many as it takes
5 minutes
Sonya: as it takes to do whatt??
me: i dont have an answer for that
me: kendall just texted me back and asked what ext im on up here
and i said:
im 103 i think but im in the bathroom right now bc im drinking like 8 gallons of water a day w this new water bottle and im a peeing machine. also i was in the middle of constructing an email to you when i caught this pee fever"
Sonya: hahah all from the toilet
typical
me: yea
i know
FML!!!!
Sonya: poor you
you pee too much
me: i think that since im not a drunken college student anymore
i could do
"gchats from this morning"
and that my apocolyptic rage from working w the public could translate to drunkenness
Sonya: lol
sounds good
Memory Lane with Matt!
Matt is one of my good friends from college who, at one point, lived in a frat house right down the street from my house. He wasn't in the frat, he was just a boarder there, so don't judge! I don't know how many nights I would get home from the bar anywhere from 12 AM to 3 AM and he would message me and say COME OVER!! and I would be like I'm way too tired. And then somehow I'd wind up over there anyway. I had some of my best "college" memories in that house. Here's Part 1.
me: matt
Matt: hey gyps
whats up
me: well im really bored at work
friday is always really slow
and i have been reading this site called texts from last night
and its just like... funny text messages people sent when theyre drunk
and its causing me to reminisce about my college days
and i thought of you
and some of my fonder/drunker memories in your room at the frat house
Matt: you remember playin mario kart till sunrise at the ol' frat house?
me: yes, that was one of the memories i had!
and we were all wearing aviators
for some reason
and passing around a water bottle w tequila in it
Matt: yeh ..off the wall
some of those memories are blurry, but quality memories anyway
i gotta go to annapolis and get a new phone... i'll talk to you later on
me: oh man
you suck!
i had a sack full of memories i wanted to throw at you
Matt: hah gimme a couple more real quick
me: ok
"studying" in the library
but actually you were just calling me on the weird phone line for deaf people
Matt: HAHAH
There was a library in the frat house that just consisted of a room with some random books. I went over there several times to study for finals. I guess I never learned my lesson from the previous study session that I wasn't going to get anything done. I had my laptop out on the desk and was trying to study when I got a phone call from a random number. I didn't answer but I did look at it and ask "Who do I know with the area code XXX?" Matt and his friend are giggling like little girls at their computer. We ended up calling this place and having conversations with each other on Matt's phone and my computer. It was weird. But funny.
me: parallel llama sex
A clip we found online during yet another one of our "study sessions" shows 2 llamas getting it on while some creepy announcer is playing romantic music and giving us a play by play. At one point he described how the llamas' necks were perfectly parallel. Good observational skills.
me: beer pong in your basement at like... 5 am
beer pong in your attic
and throwing fake money around
for some reason
Matt: haha all good memories... i cant remember the fake money one
me: i had it from another party
and i left the party and tried to get food at cp diner
and the service was really slow
and apparently i was really rude
and loud
and my friend took me away
and i came over and had all this fake money. and i left it at your place
and the next day you were like .. theres all this fake money in my attic
I was at some kind of Mardi Gras party and the person who had collected the most fake money at the end won a prize. I lost interest in collecting money after I realized the people with the most were the girls who were flashing guys for fake money. That's a new low.
me: you and ell yelling at girls out the window walk of shame
then calling me on my way home and yelling walk of shame
Matt: that was the best
so shameful
Matt and his roommate would yell out "Walk of shame!" to any girl walking by their window, any time of day. Once a girl yelled back "I'm going to class, asshole!" They got embarrassed and hid from her. One time after having stayed the night there, I woke up and walked myself down the street back to my home. My phone rings and I see that it's Matt calling. I think, Oh no! Did I forget my wallet or keys or something? I answer. He yells "Walk of shame!" and hangs up.
me: having the frat rushes give me "compliments"
and having to drink beer while doing situps
if theirs sucked
and giving up my pink sock for their scavenger hunt
Matt: okay.. hold on to the rest of teh memories.. and i'll give you mine at a later date
me: okay
hahahahha
hope that put a smile on your face!
Slow Friday!
Wow what an absolutely dreary day outside. It was kind of cool out last night so Dennis and I opened the windows and the sliding glass door to try to air out the apartment - mistake. This morning I woke up feeling like I was in the Brazilian rainforest. I just looked up "rainforest" in the dictionary because I wanted to define just how humid it was in my room this morning, but the definition doesn't say squat about the climate! I'm writing a strongly worded letter.
Then I went on wikipedia to check it out, and I still couldn't find anything about the humidity. Lord have mercy! So I googled "rainforest climate" and the first website that came out said that the rainforest gets a lot of rain because it is very hot and wet. The rest of the article seems intelligently written but of course that's the one sentence I was able to pull. Close enough. I'm sure you get the picture... or do you? Looking back, maybe I should have likened my bedroom to a sauna instead. That may have been easier.
Jesus christ. I just tried to google pictures of a sauna and thank god MODERATE safe search was on. It was all just pictures of half-naked women in saunas! My lands! I can't win this morning. Maybe I should change the subject.
So... anyone see that Penguins game Tuesday night? I know I am reporting on it a few days late but I was engrossed with my wild animal coverage and my conversations with Son Bon. Malkin didn't score a goal, but he did score 4 minutes in the penalty box! Woo!.... oh no that's a bad thing. He gave up 2 power plays to the Canes, but they were admittedly deserved or at least really funny to watch.
The first time he had his stick knocked out of his hand by an opponent so his solution was just to grab that player's stick and hold on for dear life so he couldn't use it. Immature, but funny nonetheless. Plus last time Malkin was on the bench and came swooping in he got an amazing goal so I was on pins and needles waiting for the clock to run down... waiting for Malking to swoop in once more and go in for another sneak attack. That didn't happen. But he still played well and the game was exciting to watch. Game 1 of the Stanley Cup finals is tomorrow at 8:00 pm. You can bet I'll be somewhere exciting with my Malkin shirt on! Maybe I'll even paint my face. I'm positively quivering with anticipation. Ok that's enough.
Ok changing topics - there is a man in here today that was here yesterday, the day before that, and the day before THAT, and Sonya has been trying to help him apply to the same job for THREE days. Now he is in here trying to use our phones to make a call, and doesn't understand why it's not working. Then he informs us that it is long distance. Oh yea, we provide free long distance calling. Oh wait, no we don't. You know, you would think that a people using a FREE service would be a little more appreciative of what they are getting, but I guess they really believe in the phrase "You get what you pay for." So, in our case, I guess that means you get jack shit.
Now I don't want you all to think that I hate everyone who comes in here and that I don't love helping the public. The majority of my employment history involves working for free slash working in occupations that involve helping underprivileged people or children... mostly children. But I really do honest to gawrsh enjoy doing it! One of the perks of doing it is that is can be really rewarding.
I have had experiences working at a summer day camp that made me cry when I had to leave. I spent 8 weeks trying to bring an angrily adopted 13 year old girl out of her shell in 2007 and it was TOUGH. The camp I worked at was really touchy-feely (the good kind!) and I hug my kids a lot. The first time I met her I went in for the hug and she said "Don't touch me." I was like... hoo boy. I'm in for a treat.
But I worked the whole summer trying to get through to her and on the last day of camp, she sought me out and gave me a hug and told me I was a good counselor! And then she wrote me a letter apologizing for being so difficult and saying she thought I was a good role model and she was happy I stuck it out with her. I still have that letter and when I read it for the first time it did make me cry, and I still tear up whenever I have read it since, and I am kind of tearing up right now writing about it.
This was an exceptionally long blog but the first customer set foot in the lab around 8:45 AM so I had been sitting here for about 45 minutes with nothing to do. Enjoy the fruits of my anti-labor.
Then I went on wikipedia to check it out, and I still couldn't find anything about the humidity. Lord have mercy! So I googled "rainforest climate" and the first website that came out said that the rainforest gets a lot of rain because it is very hot and wet. The rest of the article seems intelligently written but of course that's the one sentence I was able to pull. Close enough. I'm sure you get the picture... or do you? Looking back, maybe I should have likened my bedroom to a sauna instead. That may have been easier.
Jesus christ. I just tried to google pictures of a sauna and thank god MODERATE safe search was on. It was all just pictures of half-naked women in saunas! My lands! I can't win this morning. Maybe I should change the subject.
So... anyone see that Penguins game Tuesday night? I know I am reporting on it a few days late but I was engrossed with my wild animal coverage and my conversations with Son Bon. Malkin didn't score a goal, but he did score 4 minutes in the penalty box! Woo!.... oh no that's a bad thing. He gave up 2 power plays to the Canes, but they were admittedly deserved or at least really funny to watch.
The first time he had his stick knocked out of his hand by an opponent so his solution was just to grab that player's stick and hold on for dear life so he couldn't use it. Immature, but funny nonetheless. Plus last time Malkin was on the bench and came swooping in he got an amazing goal so I was on pins and needles waiting for the clock to run down... waiting for Malking to swoop in once more and go in for another sneak attack. That didn't happen. But he still played well and the game was exciting to watch. Game 1 of the Stanley Cup finals is tomorrow at 8:00 pm. You can bet I'll be somewhere exciting with my Malkin shirt on! Maybe I'll even paint my face. I'm positively quivering with anticipation. Ok that's enough.
Ok changing topics - there is a man in here today that was here yesterday, the day before that, and the day before THAT, and Sonya has been trying to help him apply to the same job for THREE days. Now he is in here trying to use our phones to make a call, and doesn't understand why it's not working. Then he informs us that it is long distance. Oh yea, we provide free long distance calling. Oh wait, no we don't. You know, you would think that a people using a FREE service would be a little more appreciative of what they are getting, but I guess they really believe in the phrase "You get what you pay for." So, in our case, I guess that means you get jack shit.
Now I don't want you all to think that I hate everyone who comes in here and that I don't love helping the public. The majority of my employment history involves working for free slash working in occupations that involve helping underprivileged people or children... mostly children. But I really do honest to gawrsh enjoy doing it! One of the perks of doing it is that is can be really rewarding.
I have had experiences working at a summer day camp that made me cry when I had to leave. I spent 8 weeks trying to bring an angrily adopted 13 year old girl out of her shell in 2007 and it was TOUGH. The camp I worked at was really touchy-feely (the good kind!) and I hug my kids a lot. The first time I met her I went in for the hug and she said "Don't touch me." I was like... hoo boy. I'm in for a treat.
But I worked the whole summer trying to get through to her and on the last day of camp, she sought me out and gave me a hug and told me I was a good counselor! And then she wrote me a letter apologizing for being so difficult and saying she thought I was a good role model and she was happy I stuck it out with her. I still have that letter and when I read it for the first time it did make me cry, and I still tear up whenever I have read it since, and I am kind of tearing up right now writing about it.
This was an exceptionally long blog but the first customer set foot in the lab around 8:45 AM so I had been sitting here for about 45 minutes with nothing to do. Enjoy the fruits of my anti-labor.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Snippets
me: This is a headline on cnn.com
Man calls 911 over missing juice box
Sonya: he must've been on the shrooms
me: "the shrooms"
you sound like a paranoid mother
me: holy crow
she looks like some kind of exotic model
w her hair and makeup and shite
ps. sorry for saying holy crow
Referring to a man who has been just awful all morning.. just awful...
Sonya: whoo is he on the phone with
i hope it's not the job he thinks he's getting
me: why, is he acting unprofessional
nm
strike the question
This next one is a toughie, because Son & I were chatting and talking simultaneously....
A man walks in and says he needs a job, I ask for his SSN to verify that he has an account with us, and he gets a little testy and accuses me of trying to steal his identity...
me: yep
no job
trying to steal your identity
Sonya: this guy?
me: yes
He leaves the room for a few moments because he receives continuous text messages.. how do I know? Bc his alert is a man's voice screaming, "MESSAGE! MESSAGE! MESSAGE!"
me: im going to murder this guy.
Sonya: hahah
I give him a generic black pen to write down his SSN. I happen to be writing with a purple pen that was given to me yesterday by a customer. He asks why he is being discriminated against and why I get the good pens and give him the shitty ones. I told him it was a gift. He is unhappy.
Sonya: put your pen in your pocket
me: i know.. i am not amused by this guys antics
He gets more messages and walks towards the door...
me: is he leaving
please be leaving
Sonya: nope
what areyou even doing for him
me: handing him a job
wrapped up in a bow
with no effort
Now we are just taking cheap shots
Sonya: look at his shorts
they are down to his ankles
me: culottes
Sonya: with his socks and sandals
This is when I start to unravel
me: that lady who kept saying excuse me is so obnoxious
she came up to me several times last week w several diff job orders printed out
Sonya: what did she want you to do with them
me: and was like... how do you apply
and i literally.. read them aloud
and pointed my finger along the whole thing
while reading
and i kept saying. yea each one tells you how to apply
at the bottom
and still she continued to bring me each one and ask
Sonya: maybe she can't read
me: waste of my talent!!!
type in the fucking address!!!!!! AHHHHH
12 pm cant come soon enough!!
That last message was sent at 11:14 AM on Thursday... the really sad part is that you can see it coming....
me: something about this week
is just... testing me
everyone who comes in here wants a handout!
***Sent at 10:57 AM on Thursday***
Sigh.
How to make it from 8 am to Noon
Sonya and I have been looking at the websites fmylife.com and textsfromlastnight.com all week and trading the best stories we have found on there... and then chatting in between. Here are some excerpts... (I've color coded the references to make it easier... and bc I'm a nerd who likes color-coding things) and the conversations that resulted thereafter:
Sonya: (617): Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
me: jesus
i love how a lot of those weird ones have "i love ____city___" at the end
by love i was being sarcastic tho
i dont love it
Sonya: hahah yeah like "i love salisbury"
me: but i was thinkin like... you arent special
there are freaks all over the country
Sonya: lol yeah homeless people are everywhere
look at aljanice
The best part is that she was telling me to "Look at Aljanice" because she was making a weird face or something, but at first I thought... "Aljanice is homeless? I had no idea."
me: Today, at the supermarket everybody was staring at me. After ten minutes, I realized that my umbrella was still open. FML
HARSH!
wtf. why do they even accept these
this website is funny but i really hate it when people write FML in their away mesg or fb status
its like
i have an exam... FML
boo! life is so hard!!!
Sonya: hahha
krista's friend adrienne had yesterday..got a flat tire on gw parkway 20 min before my job interview FML
Sonya - "That one is legit"
Me - "I was just going to say that"
me: i put up an ironic gmail status "surrounded by idiots at work today... FML"
*I tell a guy that computers are only to be used for job search activity*
me: did you see what that dude was looking at when i told him to stop
Sonya: no what was it a picture of
me: scantily clad women
"lookin at women that have no interest in lookin at him" - aljanice
Sonya: lol true
he needs to pay his child support asap
me: if you were unemployed... and you went to an employment agency computer lab... what would be your first priority
finding work
putting food on the table
paying child support (allegedly)
Sonya: getting my unemployment check!
me: then using govt funded computers and internet to check out skanky hos
Sonya: yeah my next one would be to use govt funded computer to look at fml
me: youre already there.
*I look up the history on the computer he was using after he left*
me: loveandseek.com
the christian singles network.
+
Sonya: at least he follows jesus
me: heres another dud
Today, I sang the itsy bitsy spider song with a class of thirty 20 somethings because we're going to be kindergarten teachers. She made us do the hand motions too. FML
how could you face your friends and family after that one?!
Sonya: so..don't be a kindergarten teacher...
me: what do you think her lesson plans were before that
no songs
no games
maybe... penmanship practice
meditation
and..
reading the dictionary?
Sonya: (546): Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
me: oh my god. one of my friends did shrooms in college
and we were over at his house when he woke up hours later
and he told us that his journey was so epic, he wrote it all down
and then he read us like 8 pages of narrative
Sonya: omg hahah
me: of what he had done all day
Sonya: he remembered it all
me: it sounds really boring but it was one of the funniest things i had ever heard
he wrote it as soon as he got home
he left his house and went on a walk around cp
and ended up in some woods
and came home hours later
and wrote it all down and fell asleep
he said he found a new land and named it and tried to put a flag up
and he named it native america
but pronounced "Nay-teev Ay-mare-i-cay"
Sonya: hahah was the land in the woods
me: yes. like 2 blocks from his house
Sonya: nice
me: ya it was my entertainment for the evening
we had been watching a movie until he woke up
then we turned it off to listen to the story
Sonya: (617): Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
me: jesus
i love how a lot of those weird ones have "i love ____city___" at the end
by love i was being sarcastic tho
i dont love it
Sonya: hahah yeah like "i love salisbury"
me: but i was thinkin like... you arent special
there are freaks all over the country
Sonya: lol yeah homeless people are everywhere
look at aljanice
The best part is that she was telling me to "Look at Aljanice" because she was making a weird face or something, but at first I thought... "Aljanice is homeless? I had no idea."
me: Today, at the supermarket everybody was staring at me. After ten minutes, I realized that my umbrella was still open. FML
HARSH!
wtf. why do they even accept these
this website is funny but i really hate it when people write FML in their away mesg or fb status
its like
i have an exam... FML
boo! life is so hard!!!
Sonya: hahha
krista's friend adrienne had yesterday..got a flat tire on gw parkway 20 min before my job interview FML
Sonya - "That one is legit"
Me - "I was just going to say that"
me: i put up an ironic gmail status "surrounded by idiots at work today... FML"
*I tell a guy that computers are only to be used for job search activity*
me: did you see what that dude was looking at when i told him to stop
Sonya: no what was it a picture of
me: scantily clad women
"lookin at women that have no interest in lookin at him" - aljanice
Sonya: lol true
he needs to pay his child support asap
me: if you were unemployed... and you went to an employment agency computer lab... what would be your first priority
finding work
putting food on the table
paying child support (allegedly)
Sonya: getting my unemployment check!
me: then using govt funded computers and internet to check out skanky hos
Sonya: yeah my next one would be to use govt funded computer to look at fml
me: youre already there.
*I look up the history on the computer he was using after he left*
me: loveandseek.com
the christian singles network.
+
Sonya: at least he follows jesus
me: heres another dud
Today, I sang the itsy bitsy spider song with a class of thirty 20 somethings because we're going to be kindergarten teachers. She made us do the hand motions too. FML
how could you face your friends and family after that one?!
Sonya: so..don't be a kindergarten teacher...
me: what do you think her lesson plans were before that
no songs
no games
maybe... penmanship practice
meditation
and..
reading the dictionary?
Sonya: (546): Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
me: oh my god. one of my friends did shrooms in college
and we were over at his house when he woke up hours later
and he told us that his journey was so epic, he wrote it all down
and then he read us like 8 pages of narrative
Sonya: omg hahah
me: of what he had done all day
Sonya: he remembered it all
me: it sounds really boring but it was one of the funniest things i had ever heard
he wrote it as soon as he got home
he left his house and went on a walk around cp
and ended up in some woods
and came home hours later
and wrote it all down and fell asleep
he said he found a new land and named it and tried to put a flag up
and he named it native america
but pronounced "Nay-teev Ay-mare-i-cay"
Sonya: hahah was the land in the woods
me: yes. like 2 blocks from his house
Sonya: nice
me: ya it was my entertainment for the evening
we had been watching a movie until he woke up
then we turned it off to listen to the story
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
The Beauty of Mother Nature
So today feels like a pretty random day... as far as blogs go. First of all, the weather is complete SHITE... but it is Aidan's birthday! Yay - happy 24th!
I wanted to add a couple of strange yet amusing pictures that I have had saved on my computer for that express purpose - sharing it with the public and seeing if anyone thinks they are as funny as I do.
Elephant Seal - Oh my lord, look at this thing's schnozz. This animal looks like it was made from scraps of leftover animal parts. The midsection of a hippopotamus, the lower jaw of a walrus, and the nose of a goblin. Jesus. Through absolutely no bias towards penguins, I have to say, brave penguins. :)
I'm not sure what species this is... but it must be some kind of animal... right? Seal slash rabid dog slash sewer rat? And I'm not sure why this mother is so excited to be holding her baby in front of this feral seal beast. I really hope there is some invisible glass partition between them. Crikey.
And last but not least... World's Ugliest Dog, may he rest in peace.
I can't be the only one who sees this.
Friday, May 22, 2009
Penguins & Rats
Another STUNNING victory for the Penguins last night with a final score of 7-4. And to top it off, Malkin got a hat trick with 3 amazing goals. Look at how happy he is!!
I'm working on a short story/fairy tale based on a true life disaster right now and illustrating the entire thing in paint so stay tuned for that. Have a great Friday!
I was so proud of him. People were throwing their hats on the ice in celebration. Dennis remarked "That's not very many hats" and then pointed out fans who were cheering but still wearing their hats. Not true fans in Dennis' eyes!
Just a quick post today, maybe more later, but Robin made a comment that at work today we were like "rats in a cage." I took the liberty of creating this...
I'm working on a short story/fairy tale based on a true life disaster right now and illustrating the entire thing in paint so stay tuned for that. Have a great Friday!
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Dedicated to Sonya Bonanya
Sonya is out sick today, supposedly coming in at noon, if she is able - eek! So in lieu of her presence here I have several of our archived conversations that I think will warm the heart and comfort the soul. Yikes. I went a little overboard with that one. Let's just stick with "these will make you laugh." Enjoy.
me: i just got a return letter in my mailbox
like in the business reply envelope
Sonya: woo hooo
me: and there is shoeprint on it
i looked at it and i was like.. Rude!
and i thought of you
Sonya: hahah
RUDE
me: it was rude
who would step on my letter!
Sonya: a rude human being
or big foot
me: damn
that asshole
but he wouldnt be wearing shoes
Sonya: maybe his foot IS in fact a shoe
me: i think you just blew my mind
Sonya: yeah think about it
me: dude
you coming to peakys tn
Sonya: is the food good
or do you just go there because it's called "peaky's"
Sonya: i can't stop eating goldfish
me: those poor goldfish
Sonya: i know
i feel bad
but some of them are basketballs too
me: oh well then thats ok
On my March of Dimes progress…
me: i told darrell he needs to donate
Sonya: you know darrell doesn't have any money either
me: whatever he can donate 10 bucks
and so can his girlfriend
maybe i can friend her on facebook
Sonya: send her a mysterious note with a link to the site
just be sure to put some white powder in there too
me: lol
you are messed up
Sonya: haha just kiddingg
just facebook message her
tell her darrell was a premie
me: the guilt trip
he was the opposite of premie
he was born 3 weeks late
Sonya: oh
well same difference
hahah
me: is it really
the same difference
sonya
Sonya: lol he still needed prenatal care
On Saved By The Bell…
Sonya: didn't go to training today..wanna go to hangout
/i would like to start calling it "the max"
On Dennis…
me: he was such a baby yesterday
not like
annoying
but he got soaked at work
so he got home and like.. peeled off his wet clothes and got in bed
and wrapped the whole comforter around himself
and then he said he wanted a milkshake a pizza
and that "while i was out getting it" i should return the red box
i was like.. me.. myself.. and i
Sonya: hahahah nice
me: he said he was really cold and felt sick
so i return the redbox got a milkshake and a pizza
and brought it home
feeling like im setting the womens movement back 50 years
me: hopefully this gum will tide me over
Sonya: one can only hope
me: well its a good thing i used that adverb then
me: this guy in here is insane
do you hear him
saying
i dont have no patience for no damn computers!!
Sonya: hahah no
me: he said
his sister in law typed his resume
WITH A TYPEWRITER
and shes out of town now
so he needs to fix it
and hes like... waiting for robin to come up with a solution
like. well let me get out this old typewriter here
Sonya: lol you can't even use a floppy disk with a typewriter
me: nope!!
he had NOTHING
but a copy of his resume
and robins like.. yea.. uhh.. we dont use typewriters anymore
only word processor
and thats when he said that thing about no patience for no damn computers..
and shes like... well maybe you can like.. white it out and write in the word with a pen
and hes like.. im not being negative but im not taking my resume to someone with stuff scribbled all over it
she said well its better than no resume at all
and hes like yea well. thanks.
and left
Alerting Sonya of a rocket launch…and it’s the wrong one…
Sonya: that's a different rocket than the one in wallops island!
me: oh my
how embarrassing!
Sonya: lol
it went up in florida!
me: i feel sheepish
Sonya: hahah where did you find that one
me: alladin
the genie says it. then he turns into a sheep
and calls aladdin a baa-aa-aad boy
Sonya: the article..
me: oh . right. cnn.com
me: i just got a return letter in my mailbox
like in the business reply envelope
Sonya: woo hooo
me: and there is shoeprint on it
i looked at it and i was like.. Rude!
and i thought of you
Sonya: hahah
RUDE
me: it was rude
who would step on my letter!
Sonya: a rude human being
or big foot
me: damn
that asshole
but he wouldnt be wearing shoes
Sonya: maybe his foot IS in fact a shoe
me: i think you just blew my mind
Sonya: yeah think about it
me: dude
you coming to peakys tn
Sonya: is the food good
or do you just go there because it's called "peaky's"
Sonya: i can't stop eating goldfish
me: those poor goldfish
Sonya: i know
i feel bad
but some of them are basketballs too
me: oh well then thats ok
On my March of Dimes progress…
me: i told darrell he needs to donate
Sonya: you know darrell doesn't have any money either
me: whatever he can donate 10 bucks
and so can his girlfriend
maybe i can friend her on facebook
Sonya: send her a mysterious note with a link to the site
just be sure to put some white powder in there too
me: lol
you are messed up
Sonya: haha just kiddingg
just facebook message her
tell her darrell was a premie
me: the guilt trip
he was the opposite of premie
he was born 3 weeks late
Sonya: oh
well same difference
hahah
me: is it really
the same difference
sonya
Sonya: lol he still needed prenatal care
On Saved By The Bell…
Sonya: didn't go to training today..wanna go to hangout
/i would like to start calling it "the max"
On Dennis…
me: he was such a baby yesterday
not like
annoying
but he got soaked at work
so he got home and like.. peeled off his wet clothes and got in bed
and wrapped the whole comforter around himself
and then he said he wanted a milkshake a pizza
and that "while i was out getting it" i should return the red box
i was like.. me.. myself.. and i
Sonya: hahahah nice
me: he said he was really cold and felt sick
so i return the redbox got a milkshake and a pizza
and brought it home
feeling like im setting the womens movement back 50 years
me: hopefully this gum will tide me over
Sonya: one can only hope
me: well its a good thing i used that adverb then
me: this guy in here is insane
do you hear him
saying
i dont have no patience for no damn computers!!
Sonya: hahah no
me: he said
his sister in law typed his resume
WITH A TYPEWRITER
and shes out of town now
so he needs to fix it
and hes like... waiting for robin to come up with a solution
like. well let me get out this old typewriter here
Sonya: lol you can't even use a floppy disk with a typewriter
me: nope!!
he had NOTHING
but a copy of his resume
and robins like.. yea.. uhh.. we dont use typewriters anymore
only word processor
and thats when he said that thing about no patience for no damn computers..
and shes like... well maybe you can like.. white it out and write in the word with a pen
and hes like.. im not being negative but im not taking my resume to someone with stuff scribbled all over it
she said well its better than no resume at all
and hes like yea well. thanks.
and left
Alerting Sonya of a rocket launch…and it’s the wrong one…
Sonya: that's a different rocket than the one in wallops island!
me: oh my
how embarrassing!
Sonya: lol
it went up in florida!
me: i feel sheepish
Sonya: hahah where did you find that one
me: alladin
the genie says it. then he turns into a sheep
and calls aladdin a baa-aa-aad boy
Sonya: the article..
me: oh . right. cnn.com
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