Snippets with Son Bon 2

me: omg
i drank a beer at home
and i was so paranoid
in there w him
Sonya: omg
why
me: i was telling him about the job order that you did and how i thought it was the same one i was supposed to do
and i said sonya put up this job ad this morning
and he was like "you mean job order"
and i think i like
froze like a deer in headlights
and was like uhh
yes
Sonya: like it matters! he knew what you meant
me: i know
i was like... BUSTED
for a second
but yea. idk i was just eating chips and salsa and i felt the urge
its friday

A little girl in the lab takes over Son's keyboard.
Sonya: nice
o9igg
l;.bn
hftgtwtteyryeytruyr767
me: when did you and this little munchkin become such good pals
Sonya: o-yutr6
gtu999ccccfdfhjhgur73eksyfekeirk9999
i don' tknow
she's been doing it with eveyrone in here
the lady behind her was sharing her earbuds with her
me: this girl got old fast
Sonya: yeah
really
me: shes just got her hand caught in the door
Sonya: omg
she is tough
she just wiped out

me: im going to hulk out
Sonya: lol
do it
me: no i like this shirt
Sonya: ohh ok

me: i am seeing red
in a bad way
isnt that weird
Sonya: what does that mean
me: that you can see red and it means youre mad
but if you see the world thru rose colored glasses youre an optimist

me: you know what is great
that im up here typing away
and then people ask for help
and they apologize
like sorry for interrupting
like im doing work
Sonya: you're working so hard
me: but really i just type at the speed of light
so it sounds like work.
Sonya: that's why they call you speed racer
keep up the good work
me: thanks.
you should talk
how many online quizzes have you taken today
lol
Sonya: probably somewhere in the ballpark of 6

I sent out an email to some people of a personality quiz that Sonya sent me that basically...drops the F bomb 23 times in each question and its answer choices, and then realized you can't take the quiz thru the email! Oops.
me: i hope everyone i sent that one to doesnt try to take it and get disappointed
Sonya: well they will just have to go on fb and do it
me: i didnt tell them it was from fb
Sonya: oh well
me: yea
oh well
theyll get over it
Sonya: or they'll burn you with their fucking taser
me: lolol
i want one
for bmore
Sonya: you can buy one from richard
me: who
Sonya: richard..the old mac senior guy
me: i dont know him.
Sonya: when he retired he said he was starting a taser business
me: i need a taser i can trust
whaaat
Sonya: and a sweatshirt business
me: are they at all related
taser resistant sweatshirt
Sonya: he made a christmas sweatshirt
with like a christmas tree and like eastern shore christmas on it
i was like..is this a joke
it wasn't
it was heinous

me: that woman was like it wont let me put in my bday
Sonya: caught in the act
me: and i asked did you put your birth year in 4 number format
and she said yes
and i went over there
and the year was 76
Sonya: didn't you know 2 numbers is the new 4
me: shit
ive been an asshole to so many people in this lab
why didnt anyone tell me

Sonya: if that guy turns around and catches you chomping on that sugar daddy..that would be embarassing
me: i know
see what i mean
i really am chomping too
good word
Sonya: i saw it
me: its like on my face
i cant get it off
i had to add paper to the copy machine while you were gone
someone came up and said the copier was out of paper
and i put some in
but my hands were all sticky
and when he came up i was chompin

me: wait do you really think he needs more help
or are you just being sarcassy
you like that, i mixed up sarcastic and sassy

me: ps. if you had to choose
and try to remain unbiased even tho i already referred to my watch as purple
but would you say this watch is pink or purple

me: i am goign to get some dove bar soap
after work
wouldnt that be cheaper tha bodywash
Sonya: yeah bar soap is like $2.50 or something for 2 bars
me: damn.
i been ripped off
Sonya: and it lasts a while
i think you overuse liquid bodywash
me: yea i think you are right
i go through it fast
Sonya: except..my dad told me he uses like 2 bars of soap a week
me: WHAT
that is insane
is he ocd
by chance
Sonya: yeah i'm like..i use one bar of soap in a month..
i guess he's tall..
me: is he like ethan hawke in gattaca
Sonya: sure so then i asked how he does that and he said it's normal..and he called his friend and asked him and he said he uses 2 bars a week too!
me: did you get what i meant by that ethan hawke reference
Sonya: i ignored it
me: i noticed..

Another guy accuses me of trying to steal his identity when I ask for his SSN. But then he says I can have it because I probably have better credit.

me: 2 in a row
2 days in a row
Sonya: o.m.g
do it
take his identity
me: at least he was realistic
about his identity
the other guy was all paranoid

We discuss a customer that creeped us out and how he hasn't been by in awhile.

Sonya: does he still come here???
whoo is he
me: no thats what bern was talkin about
its like
voldemort
Sonya: ohh ok
me: he who must not be named
Sonya: lol
me: we cant say his name. or we might jinx it
Sonya: and d** w*****
me: and he'll come back
lol
DW
DW
dont speak it
Sonya: he stilll comes in!
me: its like... when you say beetlejuice 3 times
and he appears

me: but thats what im saying. this guy has me all freaked out
bc he was acting shady
Sonya: he was being a creep
me: he did say i was dapper though

A third person accuses me of trying to steal his identity.

me: 3rd one
holy shit
do i have a guilty face or something

That is all for today!!! Happy Friday!

Snippets w Son, plus an EPIPHANY

Sonya: so i just took the "what alchoholic beverage suits you best" quiz, and i got...beer
wtf
hahah
me: lol
looks like youre a man'
s man
lololol
the first thing that came out was wrong
but then the follow up wasn't much better

me: where are you taking this quiz
Sonya: on fb
i'm obviously working hard
me: thats ok i wrote a novel on the blog
Sonya: you should prob take the quiz
lol
i didn't publish it though
i don't want people to know i do these things
ps. can you check your wall-feed to make sure these quizzes aren't getting published

Sonya: haha these quizzes are great
Your Result: British. You are sophisticated, well-mannered, polite and proper. You prefer negotiation over violence. You have a witty, sometimes wacky, sense of humor. As you resemble the people of Britain, you just might enjoy an evening of Monty python movies and fish and chips.
YES
this is my euro-persona
me: you resemble people of britain?
how so
bad teeth
ok i can see that
Sonya: hahah i had braces twice betch

me: man
i gotta go to the bathroom so much today
all this damn water
50 ounces already
im drinking it like the earth is running out
Sonya: areyou trying to drink 3 of those things
me: im trying to drink as many as it takes
5 minutes
Sonya: as it takes to do whatt??
me: i dont have an answer for that

me: kendall just texted me back and asked what ext im on up here
and i said:
im 103 i think but im in the bathroom right now bc im drinking like 8 gallons of water a day w this new water bottle and im a peeing machine. also i was in the middle of constructing an email to you when i caught this pee fever"
Sonya: hahah all from the toilet
typical
me: yea
i know
FML!!!!
Sonya: poor you
you pee too much

me: i think that since im not a drunken college student anymore
i could do
"gchats from this morning"
and that my apocolyptic rage from working w the public could translate to drunkenness
Sonya: lol
sounds good

Memory Lane with Matt!

Matt is one of my good friends from college who, at one point, lived in a frat house right down the street from my house. He wasn't in the frat, he was just a boarder there, so don't judge! I don't know how many nights I would get home from the bar anywhere from 12 AM to 3 AM and he would message me and say COME OVER!! and I would be like I'm way too tired. And then somehow I'd wind up over there anyway. I had some of my best "college" memories in that house. Here's Part 1.

me: matt
Matt: hey gyps
whats up
me: well im really bored at work
friday is always really slow
and i have been reading this site called texts from last night
and its just like... funny text messages people sent when theyre drunk
and its causing me to reminisce about my college days
and i thought of you
and some of my fonder/drunker memories in your room at the frat house
Matt: you remember playin mario kart till sunrise at the ol' frat house?
me: yes, that was one of the memories i had!
and we were all wearing aviators
for some reason
and passing around a water bottle w tequila in it
Matt: yeh ..off the wall
some of those memories are blurry, but quality memories anyway
i gotta go to annapolis and get a new phone... i'll talk to you later on
me: oh man
you suck!
i had a sack full of memories i wanted to throw at you
Matt: hah gimme a couple more real quick
me: ok
"studying" in the library
but actually you were just calling me on the weird phone line for deaf people
Matt: HAHAH

There was a library in the frat house that just consisted of a room with some random books. I went over there several times to study for finals. I guess I never learned my lesson from the previous study session that I wasn't going to get anything done. I had my laptop out on the desk and was trying to study when I got a phone call from a random number. I didn't answer but I did look at it and ask "Who do I know with the area code XXX?" Matt and his friend are giggling like little girls at their computer. We ended up calling this place and having conversations with each other on Matt's phone and my computer. It was weird. But funny.

me: parallel llama sex

A clip we found online during yet another one of our "study sessions" shows 2 llamas getting it on while some creepy announcer is playing romantic music and giving us a play by play. At one point he described how the llamas' necks were perfectly parallel. Good observational skills.

me: beer pong in your basement at like... 5 am
beer pong in your attic
and throwing fake money around
for some reason
Matt: haha all good memories... i cant remember the fake money one
me: i had it from another party
and i left the party and tried to get food at cp diner
and the service was really slow
and apparently i was really rude
and loud
and my friend took me away
and i came over and had all this fake money. and i left it at your place
and the next day you were like .. theres all this fake money in my attic

I was at some kind of Mardi Gras party and the person who had collected the most fake money at the end won a prize. I lost interest in collecting money after I realized the people with the most were the girls who were flashing guys for fake money. That's a new low.

me: you and ell yelling at girls out the window walk of shame
then calling me on my way home and yelling walk of shame
Matt: that was the best
so shameful

Matt and his roommate would yell out "Walk of shame!" to any girl walking by their window, any time of day. Once a girl yelled back "I'm going to class, asshole!" They got embarrassed and hid from her. One time after having stayed the night there, I woke up and walked myself down the street back to my home. My phone rings and I see that it's Matt calling. I think, Oh no! Did I forget my wallet or keys or something? I answer. He yells "Walk of shame!" and hangs up.

me: having the frat rushes give me "compliments"
and having to drink beer while doing situps
if theirs sucked
and giving up my pink sock for their scavenger hunt
Matt: okay.. hold on to the rest of teh memories.. and i'll give you mine at a later date
me: okay
hahahahha
hope that put a smile on your face!

I can't even get into the frat rush one at this time. Maybe later. Oh college!

Slow Friday!

Wow what an absolutely dreary day outside. It was kind of cool out last night so Dennis and I opened the windows and the sliding glass door to try to air out the apartment - mistake. This morning I woke up feeling like I was in the Brazilian rainforest. I just looked up "rainforest" in the dictionary because I wanted to define just how humid it was in my room this morning, but the definition doesn't say squat about the climate! I'm writing a strongly worded letter.

Then I went on wikipedia to check it out, and I still couldn't find anything about the humidity. Lord have mercy! So I googled "rainforest climate" and the first website that came out said that the rainforest gets a lot of rain because it is very hot and wet. The rest of the article seems intelligently written but of course that's the one sentence I was able to pull. Close enough. I'm sure you get the picture... or do you? Looking back, maybe I should have likened my bedroom to a sauna instead. That may have been easier.

Jesus christ. I just tried to google pictures of a sauna and thank god MODERATE safe search was on. It was all just pictures of half-naked women in saunas! My lands! I can't win this morning. Maybe I should change the subject.

So... anyone see that Penguins game Tuesday night? I know I am reporting on it a few days late but I was engrossed with my wild animal coverage and my conversations with Son Bon. Malkin didn't score a goal, but he did score 4 minutes in the penalty box! Woo!.... oh no that's a bad thing. He gave up 2 power plays to the Canes, but they were admittedly deserved or at least really funny to watch.

The first time he had his stick knocked out of his hand by an opponent so his solution was just to grab that player's stick and hold on for dear life so he couldn't use it. Immature, but funny nonetheless. Plus last time Malkin was on the bench and came swooping in he got an amazing goal so I was on pins and needles waiting for the clock to run down... waiting for Malking to swoop in once more and go in for another sneak attack. That didn't happen. But he still played well and the game was exciting to watch. Game 1 of the Stanley Cup finals is tomorrow at 8:00 pm. You can bet I'll be somewhere exciting with my Malkin shirt on! Maybe I'll even paint my face. I'm positively quivering with anticipation. Ok that's enough.

Ok changing topics - there is a man in here today that was here yesterday, the day before that, and the day before THAT, and Sonya has been trying to help him apply to the same job for THREE days. Now he is in here trying to use our phones to make a call, and doesn't understand why it's not working. Then he informs us that it is long distance. Oh yea, we provide free long distance calling. Oh wait, no we don't. You know, you would think that a people using a FREE service would be a little more appreciative of what they are getting, but I guess they really believe in the phrase "You get what you pay for." So, in our case, I guess that means you get jack shit.

Now I don't want you all to think that I hate everyone who comes in here and that I don't love helping the public. The majority of my employment history involves working for free slash working in occupations that involve helping underprivileged people or children... mostly children. But I really do honest to gawrsh enjoy doing it! One of the perks of doing it is that is can be really rewarding.

I have had experiences working at a summer day camp that made me cry when I had to leave. I spent 8 weeks trying to bring an angrily adopted 13 year old girl out of her shell in 2007 and it was TOUGH. The camp I worked at was really touchy-feely (the good kind!) and I hug my kids a lot. The first time I met her I went in for the hug and she said "Don't touch me." I was like... hoo boy. I'm in for a treat.

But I worked the whole summer trying to get through to her and on the last day of camp, she sought me out and gave me a hug and told me I was a good counselor! And then she wrote me a letter apologizing for being so difficult and saying she thought I was a good role model and she was happy I stuck it out with her. I still have that letter and when I read it for the first time it did make me cry, and I still tear up whenever I have read it since, and I am kind of tearing up right now writing about it.

This was an exceptionally long blog but the first customer set foot in the lab around 8:45 AM so I had been sitting here for about 45 minutes with nothing to do. Enjoy the fruits of my anti-labor.

Snippets

me: This is a headline on cnn.com
Man calls 911 over missing juice box
Sonya: he must've been on the shrooms
me: "the shrooms"
you sound like a paranoid mother

A very hot looking chick walks in the lab...
me: holy crow
she looks like some kind of exotic model
w her hair and makeup and shite
ps. sorry for saying holy crow

Referring to a man who has been just awful all morning.. just awful...
Sonya: whoo is he on the phone with
i hope it's not the job he thinks he's getting
me: why, is he acting unprofessional
nm
strike the question

This next one is a toughie, because Son & I were chatting and talking simultaneously....

A man walks in and says he needs a job, I ask for his SSN to verify that he has an account with us, and he gets a little testy and accuses me of trying to steal his identity...
me: yep
no job
trying to steal your identity
Sonya: this guy?
me: yes

He leaves the room for a few moments because he receives continuous text messages.. how do I know? Bc his alert is a man's voice screaming, "MESSAGE! MESSAGE! MESSAGE!"
me: im going to murder this guy.
Sonya: hahah

I give him a generic black pen to write down his SSN. I happen to be writing with a purple pen that was given to me yesterday by a customer. He asks why he is being discriminated against and why I get the good pens and give him the shitty ones. I told him it was a gift. He is unhappy.
Sonya: put your pen in your pocket
me: i know.. i am not amused by this guys antics

He gets more messages and walks towards the door...
me: is he leaving
please be leaving
Sonya: nope
what areyou even doing for him
me: handing him a job
wrapped up in a bow
with no effort

Now we are just taking cheap shots
Sonya: look at his shorts
they are down to his ankles
me: culottes
Sonya: with his socks and sandals

This is when I start to unravel
me: that lady who kept saying excuse me is so obnoxious
she came up to me several times last week w several diff job orders printed out
Sonya: what did she want you to do with them
me: and was like... how do you apply
and i literally.. read them aloud
and pointed my finger along the whole thing
while reading
and i kept saying. yea each one tells you how to apply
at the bottom
and still she continued to bring me each one and ask
Sonya: maybe she can't read
me: waste of my talent!!!
type in the fucking address!!!!!! AHHHHH
12 pm cant come soon enough!!

That last message was sent at 11:14 AM on Thursday... the really sad part is that you can see it coming....

me: something about this week
is just... testing me
everyone who comes in here wants a handout!
***Sent at 10:57 AM on Thursday***

Sigh.

How to make it from 8 am to Noon

Sonya and I have been looking at the websites fmylife.com and textsfromlastnight.com all week and trading the best stories we have found on there... and then chatting in between. Here are some excerpts... (I've color coded the references to make it easier... and bc I'm a nerd who likes color-coding things) and the conversations that resulted thereafter:

Sonya: (617): Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
me: jesus
i love how a lot of those weird ones have "i love ____city___" at the end
by love i was being sarcastic tho
i dont love it
Sonya: hahah yeah like "i love salisbury"
me: but i was thinkin like... you arent special
there are freaks all over the country
Sonya: lol yeah homeless people are everywhere
look at aljanice
The best part is that she was telling me to "Look at Aljanice" because she was making a weird face or something, but at first I thought... "Aljanice is homeless? I had no idea."

me: Today, at the supermarket everybody was staring at me. After ten minutes, I realized that my umbrella was still open. FML
HARSH!
wtf. why do they even accept these
this website is funny but i really hate it when people write FML in their away mesg or fb status
its like
i have an exam... FML
boo! life is so hard!!!
Sonya: hahha
krista's friend adrienne had yesterday..got a flat tire on gw parkway 20 min before my job interview FML
Sonya - "That one is legit"
Me - "I was just going to say that"
me: i put up an ironic gmail status "surrounded by idiots at work today... FML"

*I tell a guy that computers are only to be used for job search activity*
me: did you see what that dude was looking at when i told him to stop
Sonya: no what was it a picture of
me: scantily clad women
"lookin at women that have no interest in lookin at him" - aljanice
Sonya: lol true
he needs to pay his child support asap
me: if you were unemployed... and you went to an employment agency computer lab... what would be your first priority
finding work
putting food on the table
paying child support (allegedly)
Sonya: getting my unemployment check!
me: then using govt funded computers and internet to check out skanky hos
Sonya: yeah my next one would be to use govt funded computer to look at fml
me: youre already there.
*I look up the history on the computer he was using after he left*
me: loveandseek.com
the christian singles network.
+
Sonya: at least he follows jesus

me: heres another dud
Today, I sang the itsy bitsy spider song with a class of thirty 20 somethings because we're going to be kindergarten teachers. She made us do the hand motions too. FML
how could you face your friends and family after that one?!
Sonya: so..don't be a kindergarten teacher...
me: what do you think her lesson plans were before that
no songs
no games
maybe... penmanship practice
meditation
and..
reading the dictionary?

Sonya: (546): Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
me: oh my god. one of my friends did shrooms in college
and we were over at his house when he woke up hours later
and he told us that his journey was so epic, he wrote it all down
and then he read us like 8 pages of narrative
Sonya: omg hahah
me: of what he had done all day
Sonya: he remembered it all
me: it sounds really boring but it was one of the funniest things i had ever heard
he wrote it as soon as he got home
he left his house and went on a walk around cp
and ended up in some woods
and came home hours later
and wrote it all down and fell asleep
he said he found a new land and named it and tried to put a flag up
and he named it native america
but pronounced "Nay-teev Ay-mare-i-cay"
Sonya: hahah was the land in the woods
me: yes. like 2 blocks from his house
Sonya: nice
me: ya it was my entertainment for the evening
we had been watching a movie until he woke up
then we turned it off to listen to the story

The Beauty of Mother Nature

So today feels like a pretty random day... as far as blogs go. First of all, the weather is complete SHITE... but it is Aidan's birthday! Yay - happy 24th!

I wanted to add a couple of strange yet amusing pictures that I have had saved on my computer for that express purpose - sharing it with the public and seeing if anyone thinks they are as funny as I do.

Elephant Seal - Oh my lord, look at this thing's schnozz. This animal looks like it was made from scraps of leftover animal parts. The midsection of a hippopotamus, the lower jaw of a walrus, and the nose of a goblin. Jesus. Through absolutely no bias towards penguins, I have to say, brave penguins. :)

I'm not sure what species this is... but it must be some kind of animal... right? Seal slash rabid dog slash sewer rat? And I'm not sure why this mother is so excited to be holding her baby in front of this feral seal beast. I really hope there is some invisible glass partition between them. Crikey.

And last but not least... World's Ugliest Dog, may he rest in peace.

Shudder. How could anyone love this thing? I mean I am all for giving animals a home and 3-legged dogs and one eyed cats and all, but this thing looks like the lost member of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles series, keyword here being Mutant. Maybe if Splinter produced an illegitimate child with the guy from Tales from the Crypt, we would have a believable spawn going on here...

I can't be the only one who sees this.

Penguins & Rats

Another STUNNING victory for the Penguins last night with a final score of 7-4. And to top it off, Malkin got a hat trick with 3 amazing goals. Look at how happy he is!!

I was so proud of him. People were throwing their hats on the ice in celebration. Dennis remarked "That's not very many hats" and then pointed out fans who were cheering but still wearing their hats. Not true fans in Dennis' eyes!

Just a quick post today, maybe more later, but Robin made a comment that at work today we were like "rats in a cage." I took the liberty of creating this...

I'm working on a short story/fairy tale based on a true life disaster right now and illustrating the entire thing in paint so stay tuned for that. Have a great Friday!

Dedicated to Sonya Bonanya

Sonya is out sick today, supposedly coming in at noon, if she is able - eek! So in lieu of her presence here I have several of our archived conversations that I think will warm the heart and comfort the soul. Yikes. I went a little overboard with that one. Let's just stick with "these will make you laugh." Enjoy.

me: i just got a return letter in my mailbox
like in the business reply envelope
Sonya: woo hooo
me: and there is shoeprint on it
i looked at it and i was like.. Rude!
and i thought of you
Sonya: hahah
RUDE
me: it was rude
who would step on my letter!
Sonya: a rude human being
or big foot
me: damn
that asshole
but he wouldnt be wearing shoes
Sonya: maybe his foot IS in fact a shoe
me: i think you just blew my mind
Sonya: yeah think about it

me: dude
you coming to peakys tn
Sonya: is the food good
or do you just go there because it's called "peaky's"

Sonya: i can't stop eating goldfish
me: those poor goldfish
Sonya: i know
i feel bad
but some of them are basketballs too
me: oh well then thats ok

On my March of Dimes progress…
me: i told darrell he needs to donate
Sonya: you know darrell doesn't have any money either
me: whatever he can donate 10 bucks
and so can his girlfriend
maybe i can friend her on facebook
Sonya: send her a mysterious note with a link to the site
just be sure to put some white powder in there too
me: lol
you are messed up
Sonya: haha just kiddingg
just facebook message her
tell her darrell was a premie
me: the guilt trip
he was the opposite of premie
he was born 3 weeks late
Sonya: oh
well same difference
hahah
me: is it really
the same difference
sonya
Sonya: lol he still needed prenatal care

On Saved By The Bell…
Sonya: didn't go to training today..wanna go to hangout
/i would like to start calling it "the max"

On Dennis…
me: he was such a baby yesterday
not like
annoying
but he got soaked at work
so he got home and like.. peeled off his wet clothes and got in bed
and wrapped the whole comforter around himself
and then he said he wanted a milkshake a pizza
and that "while i was out getting it" i should return the red box
i was like.. me.. myself.. and i
Sonya: hahahah nice
me: he said he was really cold and felt sick
so i return the redbox got a milkshake and a pizza
and brought it home
feeling like im setting the womens movement back 50 years

me: hopefully this gum will tide me over
Sonya: one can only hope
me: well its a good thing i used that adverb then

me: this guy in here is insane
do you hear him
saying
i dont have no patience for no damn computers!!
Sonya: hahah no
me: he said
his sister in law typed his resume
WITH A TYPEWRITER
and shes out of town now
so he needs to fix it
and hes like... waiting for robin to come up with a solution
like. well let me get out this old typewriter here
Sonya: lol you can't even use a floppy disk with a typewriter
me: nope!!
he had NOTHING
but a copy of his resume
and robins like.. yea.. uhh.. we dont use typewriters anymore
only word processor
and thats when he said that thing about no patience for no damn computers..
and shes like... well maybe you can like.. white it out and write in the word with a pen
and hes like.. im not being negative but im not taking my resume to someone with stuff scribbled all over it
she said well its better than no resume at all
and hes like yea well. thanks.
and left

Alerting Sonya of a rocket launch…and it’s the wrong one…
Sonya: that's a different rocket than the one in wallops island!
me: oh my
how embarrassing!
Sonya: lol
it went up in florida!
me: i feel sheepish
Sonya: hahah where did you find that one
me: alladin
the genie says it. then he turns into a sheep
and calls aladdin a baa-aa-aad boy
Sonya: the article..
me: oh . right. cnn.com

Even more chronicles...

Kendall: he is an ass and he wouldnt try that crap with robin
me: yea thats true
she is a badass
deceiving bc of her sweet name
like the bird i drew for you yesterday

On a woman who has had 2 job interviews since being unemployed:
me: how long has this lady been unemployed
Kendall: if I am thinking of the correct lady....a year
me: 2 effing interviews
Kendall: yeah i know
me: way to put the nose to the grindstone
Kendall: she doesnt sound like a total reject but she called out of the blue
me: well shit
if she cant get a job with 2 interviews a year im not sure what more i can do
Kendall: lol
me: slow down lady!

me: this guy reeks
does no one own a bar of soap in this town
Kendall: i dont know...you're from here...you tell me
j/k
me: i feel like i need to do one of those like.. outreach programs
you know
Kendall: i dont know if want to reach...out...toward some of these people
me: in 2nd grade my class had to help a family that lost a b unch of stuff in a fire or something.
and we all had to bring in diff stuff
i brought in fishing supplies
the necessities
teach a man to fish
you know

me: subject line from spam email i got today
"Were you drunk? Answer, bastard!"

On cheating boyfriends:
me: i have never put up w it
i have been cheated on one time
and i broke it off and bitch slapped him for good measure
that is a fond memory

me: this coffee is amazing
i want some more
like oliver twist

More Chronicles of Meghan

me: i dont know who you are
if youre looking for ransom i can tell you i dont have money
but what i do have are a very particular set of skills
skills that i have acquired over a very long career
skills that make me a nightmare for people like you
if you let my daughter go now that'll be the end of it
i will not look for you, i will not pursue you
but if you dont, i will look for you
i will find you
and i will kill you
Aaaaand scene!
Kendall: You are rediculous!
but I love ya
me: i had to
now imagine liam neeson saying it

me: dennis just texted me
me: and said he just force fed beignet some pills
and it was "awesome"

me: HEadline on cnn.com --> Very ugly cat has only chest hair
Kendall: lol
that cat is freaky
and UGLY
me: i didnt look
but now im curious
me: ok now.. if you have sound
you should look up "cat attack baby remix"
you wont be sorry
actually
first just look up cat attacks babys head
im going to hell

On spam:
me: i just got an email with the subject "we videotaped your treason"
Kendall: i got that one today as well

me: i was trying to be discreet about my nose blowing before but now i am throwing caution to the wind
me: listen out
for this one
Kendall: ewwwww!!!!
me: i am using some discretion
Kendall: really? are you sure?

me: i am talking to the cutest little old asian man
you should come out here and take a look
Kendall: he is cute
like mr myagi

On helpless & ungrateful customers:
me: mainly just about the people who have been in here this morning
its like they all got off the same bus and are coming in one at a time
Kendall: i tell ya its help the helpless day
me: "i want a job in this business (that has had ZERO business in the last 4 months) , i cant use a computer, oh and i dont have a ride"
Kendall: i loved the no ride part
me: yea
we should have just been like... welp.... dont let the door hit you on the way out
and that one guy who asked about job fairs
was like... on crack or something
he kept sniffing
and fidgeting
he was like. whens the next job fair
and i was like well i wish you came in last week there was one in oc this weekend
and he was like . welli dont have transportation there
and i was like . oh ok. well here
and pointed at mountaire and wa slike they offer transportation
and he was like... no i dont want to work there deboning chickens
Kendall: i liked how he looked at the four flyers and was like is this all the jobs you have....I wanted to be yup thats it
me: lol... yes. unless you know how to use an effing computer
is that too much to ask
in TWO THOUSAND NINE?!?!
people were thinking we would be using flying cars and shit
youd think everyone would want to be prepared for that
ridiculous

me: well
too bad these computers blow
like dinah and her horn

me: jesus
what am i going to do when you leave
Kendall: awww
luckily ill have gmail and texting
and ill have an hour for lunch
me: yea
what time do you go in in the morning
Kendall: 8
me: and you get out at 5?
Kendall: yeah
me: in yo face.
ill be in bed watching cop drama

me: i emailed you
ho
i know i said i would never call you a ho. but i lied.

me: ps. up until about 30 minutes ago i had cat urine in my purse

me: just seen on a guys resume "Bather/Blower
Cathys Pet Salon, Salisbury, MD
I bathed and blew dogs"

On unhappy customers:
me: “is there someone i can talk to?”
yes
the back of my hand

On a kid rolling around the lab in a chair:
me: this kid is driving me nuts
throw a stick out in front of him
like big daddy
seriously
do we have like
a ball of foil we can throw at this kid

On donations to my charitable cause:
me: my dad just dropped 100 bones
whooooo
Kendall: holy crap
see you are just connected to $$
me: yeaaa
wish my mom would donate
she just wrote back
way to go
or something like that
she needs to spell that inspirational message out with dollar bills
Kendall: you should send this message
Dear Mom,
It wa$ $o nice of you to $end $uch an in$pirational me$$age to me.
me: lolol
I can $carcely $upre$$ my $ati$faction

OLDIES!!

Oh my lord, I was looking through some of my old g-chats today and I found some funny stuff. This blog entry is like when your favorite TV show decides to crap out on you and puts on a "clip show" because they're lazy and don't feel like writing another episode - except! no one has seen any of these little clips before except the parties involved. So enjoy the Chronic-WHAT-cles of Meghan.

me: gfet brian!!!!!!!!!!!!
my typoes belie the urgency of my warning!
Kendall: Ok - Ill be sure to gfet him in a hurry

me: so my mom thought she was being funny or something
and gave me an early xmas present last night
it was a bustier
Kendall: why a bustier?
me: no idea
she always puts like.. bras and underwear in my stockings and has a 14 year old girl giggle fit when i take them out
so im sure this was epic for her

On napping...
Kendall: to be honest I'd be fine with rolling my jacket up as a pillow and using the floor.
me: oh how low you've sunk
for shame!
jk
i am seriously planning my evening around the nap i am taking when i get home

me: I feel like I am starting to crash and it is only 8 45
everyone gave me crap for not going out monday night and i was like.. i fell asleep at 8
my friend erik was like yea she put on "murder she wrote" and passed out
Kendall: lol
I know how you feel
I worked until 10:30 last night and then they all wanted to go out....I was like...Im an adult now. Have to go to work in the AM.....sucks to be me
me: i know
but i cant really say anything yet bc i haven't worked a full work week in a few months
so i can't be like
some of us have jobs, ok!
some of us have to go work tmw... we cant all fritter our time away at the bar!
although up until 2 weeks ago.. i could

Kendall: Answer the damn phone!
me: i did ho
the other one keeps ringing for some reason
remember that time way back when i called you a ho? im sorry.

me: oh no. i think i just saw the saddest thing ever
Kendall: ???
me: i emailed you
a picture

*actual picture sent*

me: lorraine told me i look like stevie wonder cuts my hair
Kendall: what??
me: lorraine was like what are you typing on the computer
i told her i was looking up the spanish word for devil

me: i microwaved my hot pocket for 1:30 with great success
Kendall: nice
me: yea. i am eating it w a knife and fork bc i am high society
Kendall: LOL
ok mr pitt
eating your snickers bar with a knife and fork
me: haha... how do you eat it... with your hands?!

Looking at a picture of me from a 1996 wedding:
me: that kid im dancing w is now 6 5 and plays QB for uconn
Kendall: lol
thats fun!!
me: yea he is actually my cousin
not just... that kid

On Ed and Melvin, the 70-something year old security guard:
me: ed and melvin are going to fight in the parking lot at 430 today
spread the word
Kendall: lol Y?
me: idk
actually
ed said he was a crotchety old man
and melvin was like
nuh uh i'm the crotchety old man around here
so i guess they are battling for the title
Kendall: hahaha
thats too funny
me: to make matters more confusing, ed just told me to bet on melvin
Kendall: i told melvin that I heard ed was more crotchety he said I doubt that very seriously

me: so my nose is running out of control
i have a tissue stuffed up my right nostril
and have to yank it out whenever someone walks by
Kendall: lol
me: also, i got dennis some proactiv and i tried it too
and it dried my face out
so my face is kind of red today
and a little yesterday
and when i went into gregs office him and becky were like
whats wrong
are you sick
i was like.. no... but THANKS!
although i am sick
but it was so awkward
Kendall: i can imagine
me: like they kept saying it looked like my face was puffy and i was ilke ok thanks. then they would awkwardly try to be like
noooo i mean like..
its like...
im like too late.
and i am planning on like.. trying to get the use down to once a day and maybe building it back up
so i can still try it out
but i didnt use it last night or this morning
and i thought it looked better
now im like
the elephant man, hidden away in my office
Kendall: aww
me: i know
look away im hideous!
now i have a little piece of tissue shoved up my nose i am hoping that no one will notice and i can leave it up there for awhile

Victory

MUAHAHAHA... another Pengys win last night - 3 to 2 against the Carolina Hurricanes. And my boy Malkin scored!!!! I was on my way to a friend's house to watch the game and it had already started so Dennis and I were listening intently on the Sirius radio... thank god for SIRIUS!! More like thank my mom for being technologically stunted. My dad bought it for her as a gift and she was like.. I can't use this thing. Here.. and gave it to Dennis. We have definitely been getting D1's money's worth... cha-ching!

So we're listening to the game on the way to the house and it is really tough to know what's going on without the visual. The announcers do a great job, I have to give them credit, but sometimes they get so into it that their descriptions get lost in the excitement. On Malkin's goal, the announcer was speeding up and ended up saying something like "WERIWJOSNFh aofijwej MALKIN ASDLKASLDJ" and I was freaking out like "What did he say? Malkin scored? WHAT JUST HAPPENED?!" Turns out - yes he did! And all while I was wearing my super sweet Malkin tee. Boo ya!

#71 MALKIN! Or as the Russians would say...Малкин!!!!

So in conclusion - way to go Pengys, see you on Thursday night.

Progress made on the SPCPC

I've made 8 new additions to my SPCP collage! For those of you who don't know, that stands for South Park Calendar Page collage. Finally I was able to scrape together a few spare minutes to accomplish this feat. I thought the day would never come. Of course it's far from done, but here is a look at some of my favorite pages of 2009...

Oh happy day! Just looking at some of these pages makes me lol. Yea I said it. My office is such a nightmare, there is so much random crap on the walls... lots of pen and ink drawings of Crisfield... a motivational poster that says "SUCCESS. Success is a journey, not a destination." A big hand drawn map of the Eastern Shore... a painting of my name that one of my friends made for me back in high school... a drawing my cousin made me for my graduation from college that says "Congratulations Meghan" and has a rainbow and some butterflies... picture I drew last week of the Penguins logo.. woo hoo!!!

Game tonight at 7:30.. I'm excited. Dennis and I have plans to go watch it at his friend's house so that should be fun. I"ll be wearing my Malkin shirt!! Still waiting on Dennis' Crosby shirt.. boo. Keep your finger crossed for Pengs tonight!

Livin with a Grinch

Meredith: yaya
how is denden?
me: he is gooooood
he came home on saturday night
after being in oc all day and night
and he was soo drunk
and was being really funny
Meredith: hahah
what was he doing
me: well he wanted to take a shower
bc he puked down the side of his car
and on himself a little
Meredith: ewww
me: so he was like peeling off his clothes walking through the apt
and singing
and then he knocked stuff over trying to get in the shower
Meredith: hahaha
me: and when he was in the shower he needed help so im like trying to get him to stand up
Meredith: lol
me: and there is this pepper song called lost in america
and teh lyrics go "lost in america, im gettin lost in america, no one really knows ya, when you're lost in america"
and when he got out of the shower he was usingthis green towel
and he was having problems w it
and hes like "lost in a green towel, lost in a green towel, lookin like the grinch, when he's stealin up the christmas"

Swine Flu Fever

me: i felt sick all weekend
and just laid around
Meredith: dang
what kind of sick?
swine-y?
me: lol
yea i think sonya gave it to me
she thinks she has it
Meredith: oh noo
joke?
I hope
I want to be ab le to say I know someone who has it

Crossing Over the Boundaries of Competency

O...m...g. Ok for real.. I just got home from babysitting a little while ago and I'm such a nerd that I tune in to one of my favorite shows, Forensic Files, because I happen to know that on Saturday nights it runs for a large block of time. Wow. I need to get out more. But then I'd miss my Forensic Files - ahh the agony!

So yea I catch 2 episodes before a different show comes on with an intro about the JonBenet Ramsey case. This mention catches my attention, I'm hooked, I'm interested, but I'm also clipping my toenails so I don't have the visual going on. The show claims that I'll "see the JonBenet Ramsey case in an entirely new way, with new information that has come to light" or some such nonsense. I usually don't believe claims like these, but earlier today a murder trial that I had previously seen was covered by a different show and it was so much more interesting and informative in the second format, so I thought I would give this JonBenet show a chance.

So there I was, giving it a chance, until I looked up and saw the word "Medium" flash across the screen. This word has several different meanings for me. My size in most types of clothing, the drink size I used to order before it was redefined to mean 32 ounces, one way to cook a burger, one of the settings on my fan... see the pattern here? When I hear medium, I think "size, degree, or setting" or some type of measurement, and so should you, because one of the other meanings is defined as "a person through whom the spirits of the dead are alleged to be able to contact the living." And then the name of the show pops up - Haunting Evidence. Great. So now I can assume that all of the "new information" coming to light will be coming in the form of some type of...haunting? Crikey. I hate this psychic crap.

In the few minutes between the realization of the nature of the show and the changing of the channel, I heard some tidbits of wisdom from two of the show's hosts that...well... it really changed my mind about psychics. I think they are even more worthless now. Here are some of the quotes from the show - I can't say that they are verbatim because I am recalling them from memory and in the half an hour it has been since I changed the channel my brain has already tried to repress these memories.

*They are standing outside the Ramsey house where the murder occurred*

"There's a feeling of extreme sadness. Not normal sadness."

"Evil. There's an evil feeling here. I can feel the evil."

"This was planned."

My god. How difficult is it to stand outside of the house - YES OUTSIDE, they didn't even get permission to go inside of the house, what an outstanding and legitimate show this must be - and describe feelings dealing with a murder that has been widely publicized? It wouldn't even have to be publicized - any murder or even just an accidental or natural death would call up feelings of sadness. As far as the evilness and the planning of the murder, bravo. Mrs. Ramsey must be watching and wondering just how you can tap into those feelings and why weren't you hired as part of the initial investigation? WHY O WHY?!

Another noteworthy observation - one of the hosts says "I feel very cold." Did I mention they are standing in approximately 2 feet of snow? Idiots.

Ok I think it's obvious now how cynical I am regarding psychics and everything related. But honestly, I could read a paragraph synopsis of the case and then film myself trespassing around the house where it all went down and saying things like "There is a definite sadness about this place" and idiots would tune in to see what worldly wisdom I would bring next. Down with psychics! Bleh!

P-E-N-G-Y-S PENGYS! (tm)

I've been so busy posting the convos I've had with Mere all morning that I haven't even had time to celebrate the Penguins victory from last night. That's right... they won, and they won big. Final score 6-2. I'd like to lead everyone in a chorus from the song "Age of Aquarius/Let the Sunshine In."

Let the sunshine, let the sunshine in, the sunshine in,
Let the sunshine, let the sunshine in, the sunshine in!!!

That's the first song that came into my head this morning when I placed my fingers on the keyboard to type about this glorious victory. I know it's only the end of this series and that they still have a ways to go, but it made me feel like a million bucks when they won last night. They had played pretty sloppily in Game 6, precluding any chance of a win, but Crosby still made the comment that their best course of action was not to change a thing. That made me happy - Crosby gave a big vote of confidence to his Penguins! :o) I still favor Malkin though. He didn't score last night but his stick-handling skills were amazing and he made me really proud. Can't wait to get that shirt!! It shipped yesterday... is in Pennsylvania as of 11:30 am... if it is waiting for me when I get home I'm probably going to pee my pants. I'll keep you updated. Gotta go to lunch... GO PENGUINS!!!

PS. Yes I drew that Penguins logo and colored in the gold part. The internet was down at my work yesterday so I had a lot of free time.

Another timeless Mere story

Meredith: omg
I have to tell you about last night
me: uh oh
what happened
Meredith: well
Neel and Abbott were at Haydees
that place we took you and DD
(denden)
and I awsl ike, bring me back
a shrimp quesadilla!
and Neel had no money
me: oh yea whenever you say it i think youre misspelling hardees
hmmm sound yummy
Meredith: so Abbott was going to
have to pay
and Abbott I guess
(I think he was a little drunk)
was really torn
because I ALWAYS
ALWAYS
mooch food of him
or like
trickhim into buying me food
and I was like, don't worry about!
I have cash at home
(I didn't)
me: lol
Meredith: and Neel was like, dude, i'm vouching for her
like...he stood up for me
100%
if she says she has cash
she has cash
so they come home
and I gve him
$12 in nickels
lol
me: oh my god
Meredith: and he was SO MAD
me: did he hate you
Meredith: I'm sc ared
I'm really scared
I'm bringing cash home tonight
he didn't want the nickels
me: lol
WHAT
is he insane
does he hate nickels?!
Meredith: i know right
change is awesome
but also
apparently
neel was ike
'abbott, i swear
mere is not going to pay you in loose change"
and Neel was so mad too hahahaha cause he vouched for me
me: lol
what were you thinking
Meredith: I was thinking!
I want a delicious quesadilla!
me: you are terrible
Meredith: i know
i think i really have to change my ways
abbott
also accused me
of stealing the nickels from his room
but I didn't!
me: maybe thats why he didnt want nickels
he already has 200 nickels
Meredith: hahahha
Neel
saw me
coming up the stairs
with my sack full of change
and he just started laughing
he like
didn't know what to do
god it was so good

Caps fans & Pengs fans can get along

me: so are you rocking red... in shame
Meredith: bahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
I didn't even watch the end
I Just left
hahahah
I left the house
me: lol
Meredith: there wasn't even anyone else home
hahah
toko the dog out
in shame
me: lol
oh man
did you see that phantom goal
by ovechkin
Meredith: no
which period
me: first
Meredith: look, i'm so on the bandwagon
I don't even know what phantom goal means
me: lol no i just made that up
hold on
ovechkin got a breakaway
and was like flying down the ice
and took a shot
and he thought he made it and was like skating away nodding his head all confident
Meredith: awwwww
me: and fleury was holding the puck
Meredith: look
let's talk abuot something else
it was a sad day for all
maybe the Redskins will actually do something to make DC proud this year
:P
we all know it won't be the Wizards or DC United
me: lol
sorry
im at work
laughing
sonya keeps looking at me
poor wizards
Meredith: i know
hahahaha
they're so sad
me: the wind went out of their sails the day they were christened wizards
Meredith: if Kansas City
hsa more going on for it right now
me: whats so wrong with the bullets...cmon
Meredith: in terms of sports than DC
OH WAIT
WE FORGOT HTE NATS
god
it gets worse

Thanks, Daddy Forbes

Sonya and I discuss one of my various car accidents... (not my fault!)

Sonya: wait..when was that accident
me: june 16
Sonya: oh i don't recall that
me: which one
the bad one where i got totalled
or the usaa one
Sonya: i semi remember the total
me: yea
that sucked
had to get carried away on the stretcher
neck brace and all.
Sonya: yeah but you got paid for that one right
me: yea
i got my work paid for for the days i missed
and it was all taken care of
new car
and all
seemed so much easier. prob bc my dad took care of all the paperwork
and i was on vicodin the whole time

Go Pengys!

I can't believe that before I met Dennis I didn't give a crap about hockey and thought it was really boring and now I am getting all worried and nervous about the Penguins-Caps game tomorrow night. I was so bummed after the game last night! They are tied 3-3 in the series and tomorrow is the deciding game. Ahhhh!

It seems like more people are into hockey this year than last year, but maybe my hindsight is just foggy. Everyone I know is rooting for the Caps though! It seemed weird to me at first, but then I realized that geography does have everything to do with it and it's not weird at all. I mean, I have always rooted for the Orioles, and why is that? ...because I live near Baltimore.

The other sports teams that I favor stem from different reasons than my own personal geography, but they do involve someone's geography. I like Steelers because Dennis likes them and I never really had a preference in football before I met him. I like Italy for soccer and Nadal for tennis just because of my preoccupation with Italy. So when it comes to hockey, which I have never really liked, Dennis started getting me into it by putting on the games last year during the Stanley Cup finals and I found myself getting really into the game and rooting for the Penguins!

So now it's that time of year again and I find my emotions rising and falling with the wins and losses of the Penguins. So naturally I decided to show my love for the Pengies (or in Spanish - Penguinos) by getting a shirt representing my favorite player, Evgeni Malkin. I would get a jersey if I had $150 to blow but yea...no. This one cost me a little over $20 which is just around my price range. Someday I will afford the jersey though! So if anyone is looking for that perfect late birthday present or super early Christmas present or perhaps a Memorial Day present for me, a Malkin jersey would just be super. Here's the link if you want to make my dreams come true!!

Until then, I will proudly wear my Carolina Blue (why they threw another state into the mix, I don't know...) Malkin tee with his name spelled across the back in his native language, Russian. Pretty sweet!

Wednesday night.. 7 pm.. will decide the fate of my shirt. I hope they win so I have a chance to wear it. Ha. Go Pengys!

Pepper in concert... and then some

Yesterday Dennis and I ventured up to Baltimore to spend the day there, check out our new house, and see a Pepper concert! Dennis got me the tickets for my birthday and so I have been waiting for this day for 2 weeks. It was rockkkkkin.

I had such a great time and I also managed to come up with a new game during the opening act, which was a band called Shoreline. They would have been pretty good if the lead singer wasn't part of the band. He really brought them down... yikes. Whoever appointed him singer should also be removed from the band.

The game I made up is basically like Eye Spy except everything you spy has different values. Here are the items I came up with based upon real life experience:

1 pt for X on hand

2 pts for studded belt
2 for clothing with marijuana reference
2 pts for Pepper gear

3 pts for Oriole gear

5 pts for token Cal Ripken shirt
5 pts for recently purchased Pepper gear

10 pts for mention of the word "Sensimilia"

20 pts for swaying couples

50 pts for painfully out of place mom

Allow me to explain the point system and some of these references. The more prominent - the less points.

X on hand -- So there were plenty of X's marking the under-agers, which is great because now I know I am in the presence of a large number of high school students. Score.

The next six entries are devoted to the clothing seen at the concert.

Studded belts -- They spread like a plague... that only infects girls and boys in straight leg jeans.
Clothing with Weed Reference -- "I Heart Blunts" or "I Heart Weed" t-shirts were the main attraction at this stoner-fest. Because there's nothing cooler than confirming that you love marijuana at a public venue...except for hiding it from your parents once you get home from the show.
Wearing Pepper gear -- Party foul/Faux pas - DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT wear a t-shirt or any other apparel to a concert that features the band playing. We all know you're the number 1 fan! Thanks for sharing.
Wearing recently purchased Pepper gear -- Even worse - wearing the apparel that you JUST BOUGHT on your way into the show. Yikes. Either you're a fairweather fan trying desperately to prove to everyone just how devoted you are when inside you are scared to death that you'll be discovered, or you are a legitimate fan but you're still so insecure about your devotion in comparison to other fans at the show that you feel some need to play King of the Mountain, or as my dad calls it, a pissing contest.
Orioles gear -- Wow, you're at a concert in Baltimore and you want to claim your territory as a native. Neato. Too bad vendors don't require your "Local" ID anymore and they will let just anybody buy O's gear... some people... pshh.
Token Cal Ripken t-shirt -- I saw about ten people wearing this same shirt that I'm pretty sure is for sale everywhere in the stadium and outside. People walk by and think, "Hey! I know Cal Ripken. He's the guy in those potato chip commercials."

Now moving on to general observations during the concert.

Sensimilia -- I've heard this word one time when I didn't hate the person saying it... Bradley Nowell. And I think that's just because I really like his voice. The crappy excuse for a lead singer for the opening band yelled some lyrics about Sensimilia and the crowd went willlllddddd. Ok actually they didn't but this guy had it coming. He had the worst voice for reggae ever, and even when they went and played some punk/rock music he still managed to suck.

THE BAND played Marley's "Iron Lion Zion" which I have grown to be a big fan of lately, and THE BAND rocked! THE BAND'S music sounded great.

Enter lead singer... picture images of wilting flowers, children crying because their ice cream cone fell on the ground, and MoonBounces deflating with children still inside trying to claw their way out, and you'll get the image of this singer's talent.

When Marley sings it, the words are soft, pronouncing the lines "I'm gonna be Ir-on, like li-on, in Zi-on." For some reason this singer wanted to enunciate the 2nd syllables in all of those words to break down the beautiful sound the band was projecting... with a wrecking ball. I hate you lead singer of that first band.

Swaying couples -- My god. I felt like I was in 7th grade again, dancing in my middle school cafeteria to the song Barbie Girl (true story). That sweet style of dancing, which I think was referred to as "freak dancing" back in my day, was the lamest excuse for "dancing" that there ever was and I am thoroughly embarrassed to say that I was once a victim of the Freak Dance Bug. I thought that bug had died long ago but lo and hehold, two hairy disgusting dudes in wifebeaters revived it last night. There they were, gold chains glistening in the light, swaying back and forth with their girlfriends planted firmly in front of them. Then the bug began to spread... soon every couple in the place was catching the dance fever, which is said to be even worse than Saturday Night Fever.

Out-of-place mom -- you know the one. She probably was at the first Woodstock and wants to relive her younger wilder days... sow some wild oats with younger men who are too blazed to realize entirely what's going on. Or who saw American Pie one too many times and thinks cougars are "in."

To be fair, the featured band plays quite a bit of reggae, so I should have known what I was in for; nonetheless, I continue to be surprised and disgusted by this odd brand of hippie douchers.

Overall, the concert was amazing - Pepper rocked, and the 2nd opening band, the Supervillains, was off the hook as well. Check them both out if you love good music! Just avoid the concert scene if you have a weak stomach.

My Initiatives...

Hear ye hear ye! Extra extra! Read all about it!

I have a couple of announcements to make about some Community Service Initiatives that I will be taking on in the next couple of months. If anyone out there is interested, I would love any extra help in my "CSI" mission (haha I just came up with that, wow! I amaze myself).

The first mission was brought to my attention by Ms. Ami Reist, who is pioneering for Ronald McDonald House Charities to collect aluminum can tabs and glossy magazines. Next time you drink a can of soda/beer/seltzer water (Mere) - stick the tab in your pocket and start collecting. Next time you're through reading a magazine, don't toss it in the trash - start a pile and I'll come pick them up! For more information on how your contributions will help out, check out site on the Ronald McDonald House in Hershey. Thanks to *Ami* for alerting me to this totally worthy cause! :)

My next mission is a much MUCH bigger initiative and I am going to need all hands on deck for this one. As of right now, the idea is some type of fundraiser to raise money for Surfrider Foundation as well as some kind of Suicide Prevention/Awareness Foundation. I have worked with Surfrider before - I took my Teen Camp kids there this past summer for a beach clean-up and eco-awareness seminar. Look how cute they are!!!

In case it isn't clear, the two signs say "Please leave only your footprints" and "Keepers of the Coast!"





What a great foundation - Surfrider is dedicated to the protection and enjoyment of the world's oceans, waves and beaches for all people, through conservation, activism, research and education.




I've spoken briefly to Shelly Dawson, Surfrider's Ocean City chapter chairman, and he's said that he would love to put something together with me but that May is a crazy month so we will talk about it in June. I'll keep you updated.

My idea includes some kind of Beach Awareness day involving a morning trash pick up followed by a celebration of life, beach, ocean, environment, surfing, whatever! Not sure exactly what else would be going on, but I'm picture a beach festival with great food and drinks (non-alcoholic), lots of fun music, and lots of love. I'm still working on coming up with a spiffy name. So far I have flirted with Atlantic Appreciation and East Coast Cleanup, but they don't really have a surfing motif. So then I started marination on CleanWaves (double entendre...oh snap!) and Wavelengths.... THEN I realized there was no love life incorporation in there. So I'm still experimenting. Suggestions are welcome! I just want something that in 2-4 words will say "Take care of your environment so that we can all enjoy it to improve our lives! Possibly through surfing." I hope that helps get the juices flowing!!

This is all I'm able to write for now - I have a raging headache and I need to shower desperately. If you were in close proximity you would understand.

One last thing before I go. Anyone in the market for a flamboyant man-boy? Because I may have one for sale....

Sigh.