Dedicated to Sonya Bonanya

Sonya is out sick today, supposedly coming in at noon, if she is able - eek! So in lieu of her presence here I have several of our archived conversations that I think will warm the heart and comfort the soul. Yikes. I went a little overboard with that one. Let's just stick with "these will make you laugh." Enjoy.

me: i just got a return letter in my mailbox
like in the business reply envelope
Sonya: woo hooo
me: and there is shoeprint on it
i looked at it and i was like.. Rude!
and i thought of you
Sonya: hahah
RUDE
me: it was rude
who would step on my letter!
Sonya: a rude human being
or big foot
me: damn
that asshole
but he wouldnt be wearing shoes
Sonya: maybe his foot IS in fact a shoe
me: i think you just blew my mind
Sonya: yeah think about it

me: dude
you coming to peakys tn
Sonya: is the food good
or do you just go there because it's called "peaky's"

Sonya: i can't stop eating goldfish
me: those poor goldfish
Sonya: i know
i feel bad
but some of them are basketballs too
me: oh well then thats ok

On my March of Dimes progress…
me: i told darrell he needs to donate
Sonya: you know darrell doesn't have any money either
me: whatever he can donate 10 bucks
and so can his girlfriend
maybe i can friend her on facebook
Sonya: send her a mysterious note with a link to the site
just be sure to put some white powder in there too
me: lol
you are messed up
Sonya: haha just kiddingg
just facebook message her
tell her darrell was a premie
me: the guilt trip
he was the opposite of premie
he was born 3 weeks late
Sonya: oh
well same difference
hahah
me: is it really
the same difference
sonya
Sonya: lol he still needed prenatal care

On Saved By The Bell…
Sonya: didn't go to training today..wanna go to hangout
/i would like to start calling it "the max"

On Dennis…
me: he was such a baby yesterday
not like
annoying
but he got soaked at work
so he got home and like.. peeled off his wet clothes and got in bed
and wrapped the whole comforter around himself
and then he said he wanted a milkshake a pizza
and that "while i was out getting it" i should return the red box
i was like.. me.. myself.. and i
Sonya: hahahah nice
me: he said he was really cold and felt sick
so i return the redbox got a milkshake and a pizza
and brought it home
feeling like im setting the womens movement back 50 years

me: hopefully this gum will tide me over
Sonya: one can only hope
me: well its a good thing i used that adverb then

me: this guy in here is insane
do you hear him
saying
i dont have no patience for no damn computers!!
Sonya: hahah no
me: he said
his sister in law typed his resume
WITH A TYPEWRITER
and shes out of town now
so he needs to fix it
and hes like... waiting for robin to come up with a solution
like. well let me get out this old typewriter here
Sonya: lol you can't even use a floppy disk with a typewriter
me: nope!!
he had NOTHING
but a copy of his resume
and robins like.. yea.. uhh.. we dont use typewriters anymore
only word processor
and thats when he said that thing about no patience for no damn computers..
and shes like... well maybe you can like.. white it out and write in the word with a pen
and hes like.. im not being negative but im not taking my resume to someone with stuff scribbled all over it
she said well its better than no resume at all
and hes like yea well. thanks.
and left

Alerting Sonya of a rocket launch…and it’s the wrong one…
Sonya: that's a different rocket than the one in wallops island!
me: oh my
how embarrassing!
Sonya: lol
it went up in florida!
me: i feel sheepish
Sonya: hahah where did you find that one
me: alladin
the genie says it. then he turns into a sheep
and calls aladdin a baa-aa-aad boy
Sonya: the article..
me: oh . right. cnn.com