Put a Cork In It!

Right before I was to start my afternoon shift in the lab today, I heard my co-worker mention that the lab had been "swamped" that morning. I think that may have influenced my attitude upon entering the lab at 12:00pm. I have been here for one hour and ten minutes and I'm already ready to bring back classroom beatings with a ruler.

I am quite literally trying to quietly meditate right now, breathing in and out slowly, trying to imagine all of these people bent over my knee so I can "slap, slap, slap!" (courtesy of Meredith). I am trying to keep my patience for the ones that are unwillfully ignorant and who truly need my help, and for some reason also trying to keep my patience for the lazy asses around here as well. I think I am being a lot more curt today than usual though. Here's a look into how my day is going...

me: kendall is emailing me asking me how work is doing today
and its really busy and im stressing out
i said:
We might as well have a sign outside that says "free stripper with every paper printed" there are so many effing people here today and their ages are all higher than their IQs. MY GOD.

That summarizes my feelings for the entire day, and here is a continuation just for fun...
Meredith: hahahhahahah\
THere is an article in the WashPost today
titled
"Are you too dumb to have kids"
lol
and I laughed cause I was like HELL YEA
but then I read it
and it's about people with low IQ
having their kids taken away
me: wow
good idea. too bad they couldnt be more proactive
Meredith: who?
oh
you mean
like
stop it
before the kid comes out?
me: YES
put a cork in it.
figuratively
Meredith: all the single ladies
all the single ladies
put a cork in it!
oh oh oh oh
hahah
what is the lyrics to that song?
me: lolololol
i dont remember any corks.
put your hands up
oh oh o h
Meredith: ohhh